Engineering student blows up at friend who is 'obsessed' with her 'rich parents.' 'My mom is a teacher.' AITA?
"AITA for blowing up at a friend whose obsessed with my 'rich' parents?"
I am a first year engineering student. This doesn't take place in the US so tuition for a 4 year degree is about 35k. My (18F) friend (18F) who we'll call Jane will not stop complaining about and telling everyone we meet that my parents are loaded. When she first came to my place, she would not stop making comments about how it must be so nice to have parents that pay for everything so I can afford to live in such a nice apartment. The thing is...they DON'T pay for everything.
My parents aren't even notably well off??? My mom is a schoolteacher who works part time and my dad is an engineer in a field so bad he somehow makes less than her right now. When I was born, my parents set up an education savings account for me and added to it very consistently. The agreement between me and my parents has always been that I will move out after high school, they will cover tuition and I will be in charge of everything else.
I understand that I'm very lucky that my parents cover tuition, but I still cover rent, utilities, wifi, food and literally anything else I buy (all of which is considerably more expensive than annual tuition where I live). I was able to do this because I've worked since I was 15, had great summer jobs and applied to no less than 40 scholarships in my senior year of high school.
I've explained this to Jane. She literally doesn't absorb any of it. When we go out for snacks, she'll try to get me to pay for her because "my parents pay for everything and I have a lot of money." She'll constantly make comments about how easy my life be because I get an allowance from my parents (I don't) in front of other people, very loudly.
When we go to study, she'll say "we should go to OP's, her parents bought her this fancy apartment." (t]They didn't) She tells me how nice it is that I don't have to budget (I do, I am on a tight budget that has VERY little wiggle room in order to be able to afford a place near campus).
I've tried talking it out with her, and nothing changes. This all came to a head the other day when she told our friend group that I could drive us to the mall because my parents had bought me a car. My parents did not buy me a car. I don't even own a car. I have no goddamn clue why she would say this.
I blew up at her and called her a "jealous piece of sh#t who is so far up her own goddamn a$s she hasn't seen reality in years" And said that if she can't conceptualize the fact that I pay for my own shi# through my own hard work maybe that says more about her than it does about me. She left pretty quickly and it was super awkward after that. She was being a total d--k but some of my friends are saying I took it too far and should have been calmer and kinder. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
thatphotogurl said:
NTA and she deserved it. Dump her, she’s not worth the headache.
Late-Champion8678 said:
NTA. Why are you friends with this lunatic?
RevRos said:
NTA. I'm not sure why you're calling her a friend because she doesn't sound like any friend I've ever had.
Shortestbreath said:
NTA she sounds weird and a little unhinged and you shouldn’t engage with her further. Seriously. Do not let this girl in your home. She is jealous and delusional and could be an actual danger.
closet_prude said:
NTA. I've had the same friend but not about rich parents but having a "better" job. But same everything, refusing to listen to explanations, never stops spewing out half baked bullsh$t. Like carrying around a one way radio. Ugh.
Dropped her quick, told her why with candor, not super rudely but not with kindness either. I understand your outburst fully. Its like a low key kind of bullying or rich-shaming and it wasn’t even true. Good riddance. Your remaining friends who think your the a#shole probably need to be evaluated as well if they actually really know you.
Heraonolympia123 said:
How many times have you been calm and kind? As humans, if we feel people are not listening to us, we get frustrated and annoyed and eventually snap. Just distance yourself. She is not the sort of person who is going to a great friend to you going forward. NTA.