'My brother in law is the reason why my husband left me. I don’t know what to do now.' PART 2
"Update: My brother in law is the reason why my husband divorced me."
Expensive_Opinion952
If you missed the initial post, here is the link.
I am sorry that I have been gone for too long and I am overwhelmed by the support that you have given me here. Some of you still asking about me. I don’t know where to start.
I have been in constant pain and stress about everything that happened but my brother in law is now exposed to everyone about what he did to me. For those of you who think he is in love with me, he isn’t.
He very much hates my guts and has done since the day I rejected him. Hate is also a driving force and not only love. So for the stupid users (that I would like to call losers) who made fun of me it about me (bragging?) about a man not being over me in 20 years, that’s is not it.
If this is bragging, then you’re actually very sick in the head. Unfortunately I was sent these comments from a different sub about (updates?). What a bunch of losers. I was in constant fear that my brother in law will be hurting my sister because of me and I am not certain if he will.
But that was the only reason I have been “apathetic”. I wasn’t sure what the right step was with people like him. He has hidden his hatred so well for so long so what more is he capable of?
I didn’t want my sister and her children to be the collateral damage. That’s why I have been careful. I am sorry to disappoint you by not being the “strong bad bitch”. I have other priorities.
My sister and I finally talked. I love her and her children very much. She seemed just very hurt and questioning her entire marriage and who can blame her? I tried the baby steps approach.
I wanted her to know I was there for her and I was honest with her about my worries about her and her children with a man like him. It worked for a while and I was being hopeful but something changed and it probably had to do with her husband giving her an ultimatum.
Divorce or cut your family off. She chose her marriage. It broke my parents and me but I don’t think we can do anything about it. It is her own choice even if we believe it is coerced.
But maybe there’s this little chance that she knows him better than we do. There’s the little hope that he is a better person towards his family. I am clinging on to that hope. She wrote us telling us to forget she and her children existed and that they will take legal action if we ever tried to contact them.
Brother in law deleted all his social media accounts and his friends apparently all want nothing to do with him. I have heard he is planning on leaving the city because everyone knows what he did now and he is having a hard time with it. He barely leaves the house and he has been shamed, even at work.
My ex husband and I are moving on with the divorce. I don’t blame him for believing the rumors but at the same time I wish he knew me better like I thought he did. That I would never do such a thing and cheat on him.
I am so sorry that he moved back for me and probably was hoping we could give it another chance but I can’t. He has apologized so many times and said so many times that he never truly believed the rumors but I have started to think that our marriage wasn’t strong enough to overcome a rumor.
It is nobody’s fault but I thought our love was stronger than it actually was. I think we both thought that. I have started dating a new guy a few weeks before all this started, after over a year of me not even being able to leave bed.
He has seen all of this unfolding and he’s been very patient and supportive. I think I have a real shot at happiness now. At least he knows everything and is well prepared in case my brother in law isn’t done with me yet. Thank you for reading all this. And thank you again for being there for me.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's update:
AwkwardFortuneCookie
I’m sorry your sister is in a tough place. I hope she comes around because he’s isolating her now. 😞
The OP responded here:
Expensive_Opinion952
My only hope now is that she knows something that we don’t about him. That he is better than we think. I am so sorry too and I have nightmares all the time since she cut us off.
-my-cabbages
I would still go after him for harassment. Even if there is no legal case, I'd still make sure even if he moves and finds a new job they are made aware of how unhinged he is. He stalked and harassed you for years, it's his turn.
emax4
ExBIL probably gaslit her hard enough to where she thinks she has no choice either. The evidence is in front of her face and she's still blinded by the gas. She made a choice too, and now come the consequences of staying with her unhinged husband.
Beneficial-Baker4154
Heads up OP. That message to your family does not sound like it came from your sister. She’s being manipulated and likely abused. Find a way to contact her without him knowing. Maybe send a letter to her place of work?
Literarylife1982
BIL is furthering his revenge on you by taking your sister and her children away from you and your family. Of course, part of his motivation may be shame and the fact that you all see him for what he is and not the fake persona he tried to perpetrate.
When those children grow up they will most likely be survivors and will seek out the family from whom they were torn away. It's unfortunate that your sister does not see the harm that she is inflicting on her children by taking them away from people who love them and siding with someone who is truly evil. Hopefully, she will wake up before it is too late.