"AITA for breaking up with my fiancée after she betrayed by connecting me to my family."
I broke up with my fiancée because she gave my brother my contact information.
Im25imconfused writes:
When I was 10 years old, my mom passed away, leaving me, a 25-year-old male, with my older brothers aged 19 and 23 at the time. Unfortunately, none of my family members, including my brothers, took me in. I harbored deep resentment toward them for this neglect.
During my time in foster care, we sporadically communicated, but I found little solace in these interactions. By the age of 20, still feeling bitter toward my family, I made the decision to start afresh.
I left without informing anyone and severed all ties. At 22, I began dating my now ex-fiancée, a 30-year-old woman. While she knew about my estrangement from my family and my time in foster care, she remained unaware of the details.
Being an only child herself, she gradually broached the subject of reconnecting with my family, especially my brothers, expressing concerns about our future children missing out on relationships with their uncles.
I consistently communicated my firm stance of wanting no involvement with my family and requested her to refrain from discussing it further. Initially, it seemed like she complied or at least I believed so. However, two months ago, I received a text from an unfamiliar number, which turned out to be from my eldest brother.
In response, I promptly blocked him after discovering that my fiancée had provided him with my contact information without my consent. Confronting her about this breach of trust, she admitted to it, justifying her actions as an attempt to help me move past my grudges and insisted that I give my family a chance for her sake.
Given her blatant disregard for my wishes, I ended the relationship then and there. Despite her pleas and the suggestion of couples therapy, I remained steadfast in my decision. She has since moved out, and her parents have reached out, informing me of her distress and pleading for another chance on her behalf.
However, I stand by my choice, as her betrayal of my trust was unacceptable, and her subsequent actions only reaffirmed my decision to end the relationship.
Here are the top comments from the post:
Alfred-Register7379 says:
NTA (Not the A^&%ole). You've been telling her for years....years....and she still thought her opinion, and decision was better than yours.
BeachinLife1 says:
"She wouldn't do it again?" What she did can't be UNdone, it's still "done." IMO she broke your trust in a way that I don't know how you could come back from it. She disrespected your wishes regarding YOUR family, that she knows NOTHING about. I don't know how you go back to the way things were after being betrayed that way.
ThisEnvironment6627 says:
NTA… “she promised she wouldn’t do it again” mmm sounds nice… you know if she didn’t ALREADY give your number. She may have meant no harm but you made it clear and she broke that trust and there is no coming back from that.
And tell her parents you didn’t need her help and that you couldn’t care less now and block them. Let this be a lesson for your ex to know not to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong.
Skyscrapers4Me says:
It's a very clear betrayal of your boundaries. You're NTA.
RNGinx3 says:
NTA. She went behind your back and violated your boundaries. You told her you wanted nothing to do with them. She decided it was no big deal what you went through, that you needed to get over it and stop holding a grudge, and she was going to fix it.
Why? Because her hypothetical kids having uncles that may or may not be toxic was more important to her than your experience, feelings, and boundaries.
She wasn't trying to "help" you: All she cared about was what she wanted. And she's only sorry because she's facing the consequences of her actions.
What do you think? Was OP right to break up with his fiancée?