Boyfriend tired of constantly emotionally supporting girlfriend over his chemotherapy. AITA?
"AITA for judging my gf for being too emotional?"
Enough-Concern-2140
So, I have many health problems and currently am on chemotherapy and have seizures every once in a while.
I still work but part-time as I vomit daily due to chemo.
Now, my gf (36f) is working in Data and is in a computer all day. She’s then sick of monitors and gets frustrated if she sees me watching TV or gaming (gaming is pretty much how I cope).
She wants to go away sometimes on weekends and it’s hard for me to leave the house. But we went as I understand her (my health problems affect her very much and every time something happens she cries very much and I console her.
I don’t show emotion or cry as I’ll upset her, so I try to take it day by day and cope in other ways as if I get upset she’s gonna be 300% more emotional and I cannot have the ability to handle all the health stuff and my gf being so sad all day long. I get on with it and pretend all is good and not show pain or nausea or epilepsy auras.
We finally went on a short vacation with friends and she’s having a good time! On the third day out of nowhere I had a seizure. It took some time for me to get back to normal as it is hard for the body.
She was very sad and couldn’t handle it. She collapsed from crying. Said it’s her fault for pushing me. I never said she pushed my, I like that she tries to do stuff so we’re not in the house and doesn’t treat me differently as I wouldn’t like that.
I was saying sorry, she know I cannot control my epilepsy, I’m on 5 different anticonvulsants but still, I’m the reason she’s so sad and cries. It’s been like this from 2022 and she’s there for me EVERY TIME.
I’m blessed to have her and she’s seen very heavy stuff and she’s afraid as I have almost d*ed 3 times. I understand everything she’s going through. She says it’s worse for her and she’s right as I never see my self seizing, I lose my consciousness during. She’s there when I get sick from chemo.
I do wish she didn’t get SO super upset and I think AITA a SUPER AH for thinking that. I said to her one day that I understand it’s difficult for her, but it is difficult for me as it’s my body that’s collapsing.
That hit her extremely. Her jaw dropped on the floor. Said I’ve never been in her place and I don’t understand. Said other people wouldn’t have stayed with all my health stuff taking care of me.
I have no family so I’d be alone. She’s right. And I feel so guilt that caused her so my pain with my words and she’s distant ever since. I don’t know how to fix this but it’s tough as I’d don’t feel I’m such an AH as she says for saying what I feel. So… AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Kami_Sang
Wow! Your GF is comparing her suffering to yours? While she may be there for you and being supportive to someone going through health issues is hard - it is nothing compared to what you deal with.
Same-Equivalent-6821
Does she have main character syndrome or just self centered?
No-Clerk-6804
You had a seizure and all she can think about is that it's harder for her to see it and throw in your face that you have no one else? The problem here is not you. NTA.
Fun_Milk_4560
NTA. You have every right to have a calm discussion with her about how she is affecting you while you are already going through so much mentally and physically. She should really get into therapy asap to work on her issues from being a partial care giver to someone with a serious long term condition.
anne_the_bananne
Your gf is a slight AH for comparing her suffering to yours. You're the one going through chemotherapy and having seizures, not her. She's allowed to feel how she's feeling, but she shouldn't have brought up you being alone if she wasn't there supporting you. It just seems like she's guilt tripping you. Your NTA.