16yo gets awful tattoo, ex's debate who pays for removal: him, her, or daughter? AITA
'AITAH for not paying for my daughter to get her tattoo removed?'
North_Tip6522
My 16 year old daughter made the not so bright decision to get her leg tattooed by a friend of a friend. It looks awful and that’s not just me saying that — she also hates it and is embarrassed by it.
The guy who did the tattoo very much exaggerated his skill and experience. Basically looks like what you would expect to see doodled in the margins of a high schooler's notebook.
Now that it’s fully healed my daughter and her mother (my ex gf) want to get it removed. Her mother does not have the money to pay for the sessions and thinks I should have to pay for the total process because of two reasons:
1: It was my day when our daughter went to the her friend’s house and got the tattoo.
2: I had previously agreed to pay for all of our daughter’s medical expenses since my ex had to go on disability.
My counterpoint to those arguments are:
1: My ex lets our daughter goes to this same friends house all the time when it’s her time.
2: A tattoo removal is far from a necessary medical expense unlike getting it checked to make sure it wasn’t infected and blood tests to check for diseases which I did take care of.
Personally I’m of the opinion that our daughter should get a job and save up to pay for the removal sessions on her own. I feel like this is natural and fair consequence of her choices. Her mom thinks I’m being too harsh. She thinks it’s enough that our daughter is regrets it a lot and is embarrassed by it.
Here's what the comment section advised:
Young_warthogg
NTA, she is old enough to live with the consequences of her decision. Now if she busts her ass to pay for the session, maybe help her out a little? That is still a ton of money for a teen.
ExtremeGardening
FWIW - it’s far quicker, less painful, and less expensive to cover a poorly done tattoo with a new one than to completely remove it. Removal requires many sessions and there is no guarantee it will ever be fully removed.
Her issue will be waiting 2 years until she’s old enough to see a reputable artist.
InformalNobody5409
NTA. It's not a medical expense. If you wanted to throw a bone, you could tell your daughter you would match what she had saved for removal sessions, but that would be up to you.
ubi_amor_ibi_dolor
100% agreed! I once got a speeding ticket as a teen. My mom made me pay for all the expenses that went with getting that ticket addressed. I think I remember paying like $350 for the court costs and then there was the ticket fee itself. I had to work at taco bell to pay it off.
My mom was very affluent so it would have been no problem at all for her to bail me out. But that is what it would be - a bail out. I am glad that she made me literally pay for my mistakes.
I also had to pay for the difference in when the car insurance increased when I got a second ticket as a teen. I don't think it is harsh at all. It also makes the kid accountable for their own decisions and stop and contemplate the consequences of future decisions. You are helping her improve her decision making skills.
LeaJadis
NTAH. her punishment needs to be that she gets a job, saves the money herself for the procedure. she wanted the tattoo and snuck around to get one.
Plane_Illustrator965
Your ex is why people grow up and take no accountability for their actions. NTA
Libra_11274
Get the waterproof makeup that covers tattoos. It works great. She can do that until she can pay for it herself.
Thistime232
NTA. There’s no reason that I’m aware of that a tattoo needs to be removed right away. She has plenty of time to save up and get it removed. And in the meantime it can be a good reminder to think things through before making decisions like letting a tattoo from some random friend of a friend.
MissionDragonfly3468
Edited for NTA- It will be cheaper and a better experience for her to save up and find a real tattoo artist to do a cover up when she is 18. Removing tattoos can cause scaring.
PLEASE take her to the doctor and have her checked for any infection right away. (Hepatitis etc)
Phredzepplin
I think the unprofessional AH who did the Tattoo on a MINOR should pay for the removal. I would imagine there is legal liability there