'AITA for unintentionally "announcing" my pregnancy at my friend's wedding?'

"AITA for 'announcing' my pregnancy at a wedding?"

The title is shocking so please read the post before reaching your judgement. This happened at the end of last year. My husband and I became pregnant with our first last June. By this point we had already been invited to the wedding of a couple of friends, 'Jack' and 'Jill'.

They were both friends with my husband at university, and I became close with them. They both knew of our pregnancy, and were very happy for us.

The wedding was in early December. By this point I was nearing 6 months pregnant. Jack and Jill reached out just before the wedding to say that they were going to make sure that I was as comfortable as possible, and that the staff would be on hand for whatever I could need. Basically, it wasn't a surprise that I was pregnant at all.

On the day itself, we were immediately pulled aside by one of Jill's bridesmaids, who said that if we tried anything to steal focus she'd throw us out herself. We were shocked and confused and said that it was no secret that I was pregnant (since we assumed that's what she was on about), however she just sneered and walked away. We tried to ignore that and carry on with the day.

We were sat with some of my husband's old university friends during dinner, a couple of which hadn't known we were pregnant before seeing us. We chatted a bit about how excited we were and a couple of future plans, but conversation naturally moved on. A couple of hours later we decided to leave so looked for Jack and Jill to say goodbye.

We stood by the table with the bridesmaid on just long enough to hear her saying loudly that when she gets married, there will be no one allowed to come who could upstage her like certain "fat whales" had done today.

We find Jill a couple of minutes later, and I tearfully apologised for ruining her wedding because of my state (I wouldn't have normally cried but pregnancy hormones are strong stuff). She said not to be silly and that I hadn't done a thing wrong.

A couple of weeks later Jack got in touch with us asking if something had happened at the wedding that he'd missed. He shared a screengrab of comments from the bridesmaid and a couple of other people we didn't know in a wedding group chat saying that the "pregnant cow" was the worst because she gloated about her pregnancy and didn't shut up about it all day.

We said that that never happened and he agreed that it would be very out of character for us to be like that. Our little girl was born in March so we haven't had a moment to sit down since then, but we intermittently hear from a few friends who attended that wedding that some of the guests still snipe about us being there and stealing the attention from the bride and groom.

To be honest we still have no clue what we did wrong other than be invited and have courteous enough friends who wanted to chat about our lives and make the day a bit more comfortable. Was it wrong for me to go to a wedding pregnant?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

The_Chaos_Pope said:

NTA. You were 6 months pregnant and went to a wedding. If your recounting here is accurate, it's not like you clamored for any attention intentionally but it is something that tends to happen naturally as pregnancies becomes more difficult to hide. What did the bridesmaid expect, that pregnant women never leave their homes?

DamnIGottaJustSay said:

Holy hell, NTA? That bridesmaid is totally TA - guess what? pregnant people are allowed to attend weddings and *gasp* actually discuss being pregnant. I'm glad it wasn't the couple being TA about it, Jack and Jill seem perfectly fine with it. I wonder if Bridesmaid had other stuff going on and was jealous that bride was being considerate of you, but that's no excuse. NTA at all.

LadanaExi said:

NTA - God forbid someone talks to you about your pregnancy when they had no prior knowledge of it. You’re not stealing the show, you’re making conversation AT the big event. These people are disgusting and don’t deserve a second of your thoughts. Congratulations on your child! I wish you the best.

WebbieVanderquack said:

NTA. It sounds like that one horrible bridesmaid is to blame for the whole controversy. Going in tears to the bride was probably not the best idea, because it wasn't her fault and she didn't need that on her wedding day, but I can understand that you were upset.

Verdict: "Holy hell, NTA!"

She later shared this update to her post:

Thank you to everyone who has responded. I maybe didn't make it super clear in the post but this isn't something that's keeping me up at night, especially with a new baby. Someone just mentioned something a couple of days ago and my husband mentioned this page last night so I thought it would be a good place to share this.

Also with the 'announcement', I went over in my first post because of the word count and so cut some bits out, including where the bridesmaid was shown to be messaging that group chat saying that it was rude of us to basically use the wedding to announce our pregnancy to the few friends who didn't know beforehand.

Also for the few people asking, I was the only pregnant person at the wedding (or rather, the only visibly pregnant one, I don't know if anyone was keeping it quiet), and the bridesmaid and her friends were old family friends of Jill, she barely speaks to them and only had the bridesmaid in that role because her mother nagged her into doing it.

I'm sure my husband would be flattered if she was doing this because she was crushing on him, but none of us had ever met before that day. Thank you again for taking the time to read this and sharing your thoughts.