16 of the funniest tweets from parents who got brutally roasted by their kids.

Oct 4, 2022 | 10:31 A.M. ET

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Being a parent is a difficult and often thankless grind, especially when a teeny tiny human being has the power to completely roast your entire existence in a puddle...

So, if you could certainly use a cathartic laugh about the struggles of raising the next generation, stepping on spiky plastic toys on the floors and washing applesauce out of your hair, here are the best tweets we could find from parents who need a vacation. How can something so cute be so hilariously evil? Cheers to all the moms and dads out there!

1.

My kid just introduced me to a new friend who is at our house as “this is my mom… she never sits down. It’s super weird”
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) October 3, 2022

2.

Being a parent is the hardest job and I know this because my boss never knocked on my door at 5 am to criticize something I did yesterday like my kid did this morning
— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) September 26, 2022

3.

My friend without kids asked me to describe raising a toddler. The best I could come up with was “it’s like turning on notifications for every app on your phone and they are all the same and, dear god, they never stop”
— The Dad (@thedad) October 1, 2022

4.

My son has asked me 5 times today *who are you?" And I'm not ready to answer such an existential question
— ElainA-wOoOo-Wolf 🐺🎃 (@Elaina_Eiser) October 2, 2022

5.

After successfully growing tomatoes this year, I asked my son what we should grow next year. He said he wants to grow pizza.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) September 30, 2022

6.

On the way to church, I asked my son why it’s important to be quiet in church. He said, “because people are sleeping!”
— Friia9.0 (@Friia10) October 3, 2022

7.

The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I won’t change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 27, 2022

8.

“slut era,” i whisper to myself as i trip over toddler toys on my way to the toilet
— death angel (@angel_0f_deathx) September 25, 2022

9.

I taught my toddler how to wish upon a star tonight and she wished for a big cheese wheel.
— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) October 1, 2022

10.

Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) September 27, 2022

11.

Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) September 28, 2022

12.

Whoever came up with the phrase “actions speak louder than words” sure as shit never heard my 5 year old’s words
— threetimedaddy 🇺🇦 (@threetimedaddy) October 3, 2022

13.

My son just asked me if I can do a full push up pic.twitter.com/xGfzK8AMHE
— Poppy ⁷☀️ yeah im thirsty (@seesawdaydream) October 4, 2022

14.

My kid just asked me what speedball was.

Me: “May I please have some context before I answer that one?”
— Kate Marroquin (@katemarroquin) October 4, 2022

15.

My kid just told me he's upset that we're not a family who does fitness competitions on the weekends. Told him I'm upset he doesn't financially support himself, so we're even
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) October 1, 2022

16.

Older kid just taught me to make "fuck" a contact in my phone so it stops autocorrecting me to "duck" when I text.

I believe that children are the future.
— Jeff Melnick (@melnickjeffrey1) October 3, 2022

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