Man won't share grandpa's inheritance, sister says 'you're a bigot just like him.'
"AITA for refusing to give my sister any of my grandpa's inheritance?"
I (32 M) was recently bestowed an inheritance of close to $50,000 by my late grandfather (91 M)...
The reason I received the inheritance according to the will is because I was the only person in his life who would make a point of visiting him at his old age home (his wife and friends were all long deceased and my parents live in a different country then him).
I would visit 1-2 times a month to check in on him, play cards, bring him on walks etc. The main reason for these visits was because when I was at the lowest point in my life after getting home from deployment my grandfather was always there to listen and talk with me.
We were both combat veterans so he understood me on a level other people couldn’t. Here is where the problem lies, my grandfather held a lot of extreme viewpoints that I did not agree with, more specifically against the LGBTQ+ community.
I resented my grandpa for these views and called him out whenever he would say something inappropriate, I was very close to ending the visits because of these views but decided against it for reasons discussed prior.
My sister (28 F) is happily married to a woman (31 F) and therefore obviously cut off contact with my grandfather, calling him a bigot. My sister and I have a very good relationship in general but would frequently fight over my continued relationship with my grandpa.
When he passed away and left me the money I did not think there would be any argument over it as my sister wanted nothing to do with him (understandably so).
However when she found out about it she demanded that she should receive half of the money, I was shocked and basically told her no way as she was not the one who had been visiting and providing care for him for the last 5 years.
My sister was visibly angry and we have not been on speaking terms since, This has left me wondering wether I am the AH as my sister was a victim of my grandfathers bigotry, however I don’t think half the money is a reasonable request. I will accept whatever judgment I receive, Am i the AH?
Let's find out.
boudicatherapist writes:
NTA. I understand why your sister broke ties with your grandfather, but she’s being very hypocritical wanting his money and entitled in demanding that you share your inheritance with her. As they say, where there’s a will, there’s a relative.
fallenstraws writes:
I think OP’s made it pretty clear in subsequent comments that the sister didn’t simply cut ties over a difference of opinion but because she had been on the receiving end of homophobic remarks targeted at her specifically. He had verbally abused her for being gay.
She could never have had the relationship with him that OP had for reasons out of her control. It’s not childish at all. Would you want to maintain contact with someone who hates who you are and makes sure to tell you that you repulse them?
weiladzure writes:
OP YTA but not in the way that most AHs gain their title on this sub. It's a tricky situation. But it does smell like you support your grandfather's homophobic views, by sticking by him all these years, and then benefiting financially from it. Even if you say you've called him out on his bs. That's not the picture being painted here.
Perhaps he's a product of his time. But really... that's all old people. If anything, they have had the most time to watch the world evolve and have had the opportunity to evolve with it. He chose not to. Vehemently. And now he's found a way to have a final say on the topic.