Dad is concerned when wife won't let him near newborn, think it's 'postpartum anxiety.'
When this man feels like his wife isn't letting him parent their newborn at all, he asks Reddit:
'Aita for not giving my child to my wife? She refuses to let me hold him.'
It is quite troubling that my son has been home for almost a month now and I can count on one hand the number of times that I have been allowed to hold him, and a lot of that was in the hospital. It is very very strange, she seems normal other than this but I can’t take it anymore because she’s denying me opportunities to bond with my baby and acting like it’s hers.
So - I sat down with her and tried to articulate this and I was surprised when she admitted she was doing it consciously. When I pressed her for her reasoning she says that I’m not to be trusted because I “drop things” which is BS.
I asked her when was the last time I dropped anything and she mentioned a couple days before she gave birth I dropped a glass and broke it by accident which i 100% admit to but it’s not as if I have a habit of doing this, everyone makes mistakes once in a while.
I asked if she could name any mother time I drop stuff and she stuttered and tried to make up something and I kinda rolled my eyes and said that she can trust me with him. She just shrugged her shoulders and didn’t say anything and I thought we moved on.
Not gonna lie, I spent the entire night after that conversation awake , just waiting for him to cry so I would get to hold him. Around 6a today he started wailing so I jumped up from bed and got to him first and started to rock him back & forth. She was a few minutes behind me and said that he needed feeding.
I said ok give me the bottle and I got it. She said no give him to me I said why and she said because it’s better if I do it. I refused and stood my ground and with baby in tow I went to the fridge to get out the bottle and she basically started screeching in my ear and I ignored her and fed the baby. For my first time it didn’t go too badly lol it’s just like the YouTube videos.
But after I dropped him off back in the crib she’s spent all day in his room only coming out to shower and make some food and she’s refused to speak to me except to tell me that she can’t trust me with the baby anymore which i think is a) unfounded and b) an overreaction. I don’t think I was in the wrong for wanting to spend some time with my own child. AITA?
Let's find out.
felicitybean87 writes:
Your wife needs professional help. Maybe post-natal depression is manifesting itself this way. Do you have a health worker visit? Or check-ups with a medical professional? Perhaps an opportunity to get her some help here.
musicwithrocks6 writes:
NTA but as a mom I had this and it was awful. I've never had anxiety problems in my life but after I had my baby I had panic attacks right as I was falling asleep. Since I was already sleep deprived it was the worst. My brain kept telling me the baby was in the bed next to me, lost in the blankets, when I knew the baby was safely in the crib. My own brain was lying to me and it was so hard to fight against.
I talked to my OB about it and she prescribed me something and I started to feel better really quick. I weaned myself off of it a few months later and have been fine since. Go to your wife's next OB appointment, or even call her yourself. You need to get your wife help.
brandyls7 writes:
This. I didn't know PPA was a thing until I was smack-dab in the middle of it. Took cbt and months of practice to not be scared of showering in case something happened.
Mine manifested as a lovely mix of PPA and OCD and centered around SIDS. No sleeping or eating either unless someone was present and avidly watching my kids to make sure they would still be alive after. OP NTA and your wife needs a DR. No joke, it gets worse unchecked.