Dad denies accusation from wife and son that he favors their daughter.
When this dad is nervous about his parenting, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my son that I don't play favorites and to get over his jealousy?'
All names are fake. I have two children. Laurel (24) and Kevin (15). Laurel is from my first marriage. Kevin and my wife think that I favor Laurel, but that's just not true.
They've complained about it over the years, but now it's at a boiling point. The most recent complaint is that I gave her a 'free house'. None of their accusations have ever been true, but this one especially isn't.
I've been with the same company for over 35 years. Decades ago, my job made me and several other employees travel to their HQ so often that they bought us condos in the home city because it was cheaper at the time than constantly paying for hotels. At the time, property in the city was cheap.
We had free use, but technically the company owned them and they paid all expenses. In 2020, obviously all business travel stopped.
At the time, Laurel was moving to that city with her new husband and they were looking for a place. Because it was just sitting empty and would be for a long time, I told her that they could live in the condo until things went back to normal.
It would be safe and clean, and it would give them a chance to save money for a better place of their own as they were expecting their fitst child. In 2021, two things happened. The company decided to shut down all physical offices for a permanent WFH, and I decided to take my retirement.
With closing the physical offices, they also really wanted to get rid of the condos. They offered them to us at an extreme discount. I didn't want it, but Laurel did. She and her husband offered to pay the cost, and I let them. It was less than a 1/4th of market cost, but it wasn't free or a gift to her.
Kevin realizes that there's not going to be anything like that for him, and he is raging about it. He claims I've 'always done things like this' and that I 'gave her a house but am probably going to kick him out at 18 like every American parent'.
My wife is on his side, and angry about this and that I 'let' Laurel be a stay at home mother and not her. None of these things are true. I didn't give her a free house. I let her buy one for a discount because she happened to be buying at the exact time that there was any opportunity for one.
Also, she got to be a stay at home mother because she happened to be having a baby at the only time in modern history that required people to stay home, not because I was funding her.
I realize how it must look, but really she just ended up doing things in special situations where there were unique opportunities.
I don't think I'm in the wrong here because I don't treat my children differently. If I happen to come across an opportunity for Kevin to do the same with the same, I would make sure he's aware, but I can't imagine I would. AITA?
Let's find out.
bumblebee7310 writes:
NTA. But honestly I feel like your wife is the source of what Kevin is spewing out. What 15 year old boy cares about housing. It seems like your wife is using Kevin to try and get you to buy a property in his or her name to “even” the scoring between Kevin and Laurel.
huldukona writes:
There's no mention of wife complaining about her children getting a part of OP's assets when that time comes.
I wonder if they inherit their father as well? I suspect wife has always been resentful of anything Laurel gets, because in her mind 'that's Laurel taking away from wife's own kids'. OP is NTA and IMO the Brothers Grimm step mother is strong with this one...
Let's find out.
bumblebee7310 writes:
NTA. But honestly I feel like your wife is the source of what Kevin is spewing out. What 15 year old boy cares about housing. It seems like your wife is using Kevin to try and get you to buy a property in his or her name to “even” the scoring between Kevin and Laurel.
huldukona writes:
There's no mention of wife complaining about her children getting a part of OP's assets when that time comes.
I wonder if they inherit their father as well? I suspect wife has always been resentful of anything Laurel gets, because in her mind 'that's Laurel taking away from wife's own kids'. OP is NTA and IMO the Brothers Grimm step mother is strong with this one...
firefighter87 writes:
NTA. I have a question for the wife and son. My hypothetical daughter is learning piano, and my co-worker has one they want rid of, so I get it at 1/4 value.
My fake daughter pays for the 1/4 herself. I spend nothing. Do I now owe my hypothetical son a piano? Is that their reasoning?
Or a step further. I drive my fake kids to the mall, and we walk around. My daughter's favourite store has a clearance sale on, so she is able to use her own money to buy a huge load of stuff. Do I now owe my son the value of the savings she made? I can't get my head around the entitlement here.