Man sells family heirloom to pay for destination wedding. Family is appalled. AITA?
When this man feels somewhat guilty for what he did to pay for his wedding, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for selling a family heirloom to pay for my destination wedding?'
My fiancée (38F) and I (39M) are planning to get married this summer. We both want to have quite a lavish wedding at a winery in another state. The two of us agree that it's the most important occasion in our lives, so we should make it as memorable as possible. We both have stable jobs and a good amount of savings, but it's not quite enough for the (admittedly ambitious) plans we have in our heads.
My father passed away in January, and in his will he left me a very valuable (think five figures) family heirloom. It's a very old painting by a lesser-known artist. I don't want to post too many identifying details. I'm not much for big family traditions, so although it's a nice thing to have, I'm not massively attached to it. I have plenty of other good memories of my father and I don't need a fancy heirloom to remember him by.'
My brother (34M) however is a huge history nerd, and is really really attached to it. He was very upset by my father's decision in the will (the reason it went to me and not to him is that this has been traditionally passed to first-born sons). My fiancée and I don't plan to have children, and I think he assumed therefore that he (or his children) would be in line to get it if I were to pass away.
After some discussion, my wife-to-be and I decided that we would like to sell the heirloom to pay for our wedding. My brother, who is also my best man, was furious when he found out, and said he wanted nothing to do with the wedding anymore. He thinks my wife-to-be and I are behaving like spoiled brats.
In addition, he's convinced my uncle and cousins not to come to the wedding either. With our parents having passed away, this means that virtually none of my family will attend the wedding, which I'm really upset about.
I think since I legally inherited the heirloom I can do what I want with it. I think he's just upset because I ruined his expectations of one day inheriting it, but since my uncle and cousins agree with him enough that they're not coming to the wedding, I'm not so sure I'm in the right. AITA?
Let's find out.
trainsaroundchoochoo writes:
NTA. Your brother can pay you for it if he really wants it. Five figures is significant to a lot of people and you should absolutely not be expected to keep it when you could have cash instead. Your father legally willed it to you. Unless there was a stipulation in his will that you couldn't sell it, you can do whatever you want with it.
peachbunx writes:
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA. You're so materialistic you'd rather sell a living part of father to pay for some extra decor or drinks your stupid wedding when you're already well off. You can earn back the money needed to pay for your wedding YOU CAN'T EARN BACK THE HEIRLOOM. I'm furious for your brother.
zalryia writes:
ESH. Why didn't you sell it to your brother? That way it would have atleast been kept in the family. And i say ESH because your brother is an asshole too. Heirlooms are important, but not more important than people and memories being made. Your brother's reaction seems to be quite extreme. I would understand him not going out of anger, but to go as far as getting other family members not to go? Ridiculous.