Woman invents fake miscarriage so fam will stop asking if she's having kids. AITA?
When this woman is fed up with her family's questions about her having kids, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for lying about a miscarriage?'
Obviously a throwaway, and I know this sounds horrible but let me explain. After several years of trying for children, we finally gave in and saw the doctor. My husband is fine.
My ladybits aren't, to the point that not only am I not having kids, there's almost no option for IVF. It has hurt, but we have finally decided to invest our time into becoming the world's best aunt and uncle. The families felt differently.
'When are you going us grandbabies/ niblings?' We aren't. We can't. (After plenty of comments about it happening naturally on a vacation) 'well you should see a doctor.' We have. 'You know, there's always IVF/surrogate/ adoption.' Yes, we know. And no. 'You'll regret not having kids when you're older!' Not as much as I regret this conversation... 'But MY GRANDBABIES!!!'
My family has finally given in and dropped it. My inlaws can't seem to comprehend that they're not getting grandkids anytime soon, maybe because my BIL is gay and the family bloodline is ending. We got together for thanksgiving, and at the table in front of his grandparents, an aunt/ uncle, and 2 cousins came the dreaded comments... 'We need a playmate for (cousin's kid). When are you guys getting pregnant?'
I couldn't take it anymore. I answered 'we already were pregnant twice this year. But I'm not anymore. Thanks for reminding me.' It kinda ruined the mood at dinner. I talked about it with my sister and a friend.
My sis understands because the inlaws were pressuring so much after we said we couldn't. (Of course, her kids are the victims of our spoiling). My best friend said it was a really shitty thing to do and it disrespected anyone who lost a pregnancy. Maybe she's right, but the inlaws have finally given up.
AITA for comparing my failures to get pregnant with a miscarriage? I know it's a greater loss when you're actually pregnant. But I can't take the constant questions, and they finally stopped. AITA?
Let's find out.
juniebeth writes:
NTA They ruined your mood, it's completely fair to ruin theirs. Maybe they'll learn to keep their mouths shut. I hate people like that. I'm so sorry you had to deal with them. I've miscarried twice and I don't see what you said as being disrespectful to anyone who lost a pregnancy.
tigerhollywood writes:
Agreed, NTA. Currently going through my sixth consecutive loss during the holidays... And not offended by this in the slightest.
Actually, pissed off for OP, because I HATE having to answer these kinds of questions from people who have NO clue of what this pain is like, and because damn right, my medical history isn't anyone's business unless I choose for it to be. Good on you OP for shutting them up, as you should have. kudos.