Mom has an outburst on Christmas when her parents 'disrespect' her adopted kids.
When this woman is angry at her parents on x-mas, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling out my parents after they played favorites on Christmas?'
I (41f) have 3 kids 'Jane' (17f), 'Rachel' (16f) and 'Dave' (14m). Jane is my bio kid, Rachel and Dave are my husband's (46m) but I adopted them a couple of years ago.
The way my parents have started doing Christmas gifts is they ask each one to send them a wishlist. Then they'll get a few things from there as gifts.
So we had Christmas dinner and my parents gave all the kids their gifts. Jane had a huge gift bag as well as a fairly big wrapped parcel. Rachel and Dave each had small gift bags.
Well, my parents got Jane EVERYTHING she had on her wishlist (about 10 books and one of those replica Messi shirts).
Rachel got a pair of Tiffany studs and Dave got airpods. I was surprised, because my parents bought Jane everything she wanted but only got the others relatively small, but mainly just one item, when Jane got many.
Obviously Rachel and Dave were a little upset. Rachel's I can kind of get because it's Tiffany, but Dave had the same Messi shirt on his wishlist that my parents got for Jane, but didn't bother for Dave.
I told my parents what they did is really unfair, my mom said this is the gifts and what they thought was fair. I got kind of annoyed and replied it's a shame they don't think of Rachel and Dave as their 'real' grandkids, but my got dad got pissed, and said we were greedy and to be happy with what they have.
My sister said I need to apologize for my outburst, but I don't think what I said was that bad, my husband agrees.
She said I should post on AITA, so was I the AH?
Let's find out.
potatocat writes:
YTA And was this all in front of the kids? If so, OP is just seeding unnecessary resentment between them on top of not teaching gratitude.
Jane might feel unnecessary guilt that she may be receiving favoritism (NOT the case), and feeling like she needs to prioritize her siblings’ wants over hers. Rachel and Dave may grow to be very entitled (might already be, is it normal for teenagers to have Tiffany and AirPods Max??).
ihatethis77 writes:
Thank you for doing the research and math! This is exactly how my mom does the Christmas gifts for all the grandkids - by a budget.
It’s harder when they are little and don’t know the worth of toys. But by the teen years they are old enough to understand. If you ask for the x-box console, THAT’S your present. YTA OP.
ancientleg1981 writes:
These are clearly well-off people, I can’t even imagine having the guts to ask for such expensive gifts in the first place, and then having the unmitigated gall to be upset about receiving them as compared to one child’s… books and shirt.
Good on Jane for apparently being the only one not spoiled. It’s giving very much Gretchen Wieners and the white gold hoops.
If OP is worried about fairness how about she ban luxury items from next year’s wishlists? That is, if the grandparents ever feel like gift giving again.