'AITA for wearing a bikini in front of my son’s friends?' UPDATED

"AITA for wearing a bikini in front of my son’s friends?"

I am 43/F, my son is 15/M and most of his friends are boys the same age. We have a swimming pool in our backyard, and now that it’s summer my son’s friends are over at the house pretty much constantly to hang out in the backyard and use the pool.

I’m often in the backyard with them, one because I don’t like them being in the pool with no adult supervision and two because I obviously like sitting by my pool. Usually when I’m by/in the pool, I wear a bikini. It’s not a particularly sexy cut, but it does show my stomach and thighs.

I admit I have noticed a couple of the boys “checking me out” but it’s never seemed like a big deal. I figure it’s pretty normal for 15/16 year old boys, and as long as they don’t stare or say anything inappropriate I don’t really care if they look at my butt once in a while.

Yesterday my brother was over at the house with his kids, and they were playing in the pool with my son and his friends.

My brother asked me if I always wore a bikini in front of the teenagers. When I said yes, he remarked that it was kind of inappropriate and that he wouldn’t like it if someone’s mom wore a revealing suit in front of his son at that age.

Later when I was talking to my brother’s wife about our day with the kids, I told her what he said about the bikini and asked what she thought. She agreed that she personally wouldn’t wear a two-piece in front of a teenage boy because it would basically be asking for the wrong kind of attention. So now I’ve been wondering if I’m in the wrong for not covering up more. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

asauced1 writes:

Exactly. NTA. Nothing can be done about teenage boys wandering eyes. They probably have internet access anyways, so I’m sure they seen more than a mom in a bikini...But that’s beside the point, sounds like they’re fairly respectful and nobody cares except your stuck up brother and sil.

Don’t worry about it OP. It’s a hypocritical double standard that women are forced to wear tops to begin with while men are allowed to be topless. And since it’s private property, I’d tell them they’re lucky you’re wearing a top at all XD

esmethedm writes:

YTA. Just for one second, try to imagine how this all looks from your son's perspective. I'm sure he love's the mom comments and constant sexual references about you. But I guess you stroking your ego is more important.

nukethecow6 writes:

I mean, here’s the thing about wearing a bikini: teenage boys will probably look. Though teenage boys probably wouldn’t look any less at a woman in a one piece. They’re teenage boys.

With that understanding, it might actually be a good thing because if they begin to become inappropriate, it would be with a grown ass woman rather than a teenage girl who doesn’t know how to handle it.

You could have a good chance to teach a lesson, if that were to happen. Imo being a parent isn’t about always completely sheltering your children from things you think are inappropriate. Teenage boys won’t learn how to deal with their feelings and physical reactions if they never have a chance to experience them.

At the same time, I understand a parent’s desire to “protect” their children, and our culture has a long history of making a woman’s body taboo. For me, NAH, as long as your brother and SIL aren’t being judgemental towards you, and just sharing an opinion before moving on.

Later OP came back with this small update:

A few people suggested I talk to my son and see if he's uncomfortable with me wearing a bikini around his friends. I asked him if any of his friends think it's weird or anything that I wear a two-piece. He just shrugged and said that he doesn't think anyone cares and no one has said anything to to him.