Man tells wife that her relationship with her sick friend is becoming 'inappropriate.'
"AITA for telling my wife that she doesn't need to be with her sick friend at the hospital?"
So my wife has a friend from childhood named 'Anthony'. I'm being completely honest here when I say that he and I don't get along. It's not like he is rude or disrespectful (nothing like that) but all I feel towards him is 'annoyance' sort of speak because of how much my wife sees him.
He lives alone and now suffers from a medical condition (Cancer) that requires him to go to the hospital regularly to receive treatment.
I found out that my wife promised him to go with him to his every chemo treatment as support. She said it's a commitment she made to be there for him during this rough time since he has no one else besides him.
Okay.....I had no issue with that at first but then this started affecting me. e.g, I can't go see my friends because I have to stay with my son on X day so my wife could be with Anthony for his treatment etc etc.
I've talked to her about it but she said that Anthony needs company and that she's just being supportive and this is when he needs her the most.
I let it go but last week was just kind of my last straw. Anthony had a other chemo session treatment and my wife wanted to go with him and asked me to stay home with our son.
I told her I had a meet up with my mom and sister to eat lunch and that I won't be home, She said she needed to go be with him and I kind of flipped out at her and said that she doesn't 'need' to be with him and could literally go see him at home the next day or something.
She threw a fit and called me cruel for forcing her to leave Anthony by himself since she's all he has and that I was making her look bad. She also said my appointment with mom and sister wasn't as important as a chemo session but I decided to just leave to end the argument.
She ended up staying at home but kept ignoring me when I got back calling me selfish for not letting her be there to support Anthony with what he's going through. Some of her girlfriends think I'm being a controlling jerk with no consideration for Anthony and what's he's going through. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
thebreannashow writes:
YTA. You just conveniently can only see your friends on days that Anthony has chemo treatments? Why can't you plan around them if they're pretty regular? It's no different than if it was your wife's family member.
Also, why can't your kid come with you to see their grandma and aunt?You are the tiniest bit inconvenienced by all of this, meanwhile someone very important to your wife has CANCER and you're mad at her for spending time with them?You sound jealous and petty.
boudicasshield8 writes:
And if OP’s wife is truly Anthony’s main/only support person, like…come on. He must be in so much pain and so frightened - he needs that support. My husband has a couple of friends that I find annoying, too, but I wouldn’t begrudge them my husband’s time if they were going through chemo treatment.
I’d probably be asking what more I could do to help support both my husband’s friend and my husband, who I imagine would be pretty distraught yet having to always put on a brave face for his friend. Definite YTA, if this is real.
philoh7 writes:
Ruling YTA. Your poor wife has a very sick friend. Are you jealous? Or just a jerk? Also, take your son with you next time. He’s your kid too.