Woman refuses to attend BIL's funeral because of sister's 'weird' guest list.
When this sister is feeling conflicted about a funeral, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for not attending my BIL's funeral?'
Throwaway, I'm 22 and Kat is 25. My sister 'Kat' married her husband 'Mark' when she was 21.
My interactions with Mark were always kind, respectful and it's obvious they loved each other. He was a bit of a negative influence on her though, and because of this Kat, Mark and our parents didn't get along that well.
I'll be the first one to say my parents were pretty strict growing up, but it was never anything that serious, and they always looked out for our best interests. Kat also used this opportunity to go low contact with our parents, but me and her kept in touch.
Mark passed away recently, and the funeral is next week. It's a private funeral so only the people invited can come. Kat invited me and I said I'll be there. I was talking to mom and she mentioned Kat hadn't invited them to Mark's funeral, and they're hurt but they're also worried about her.
I was surprised, and I called Kat later. She said she didn't want mom and dad there, and I replied they just want to look out for her. Kat got pretty mad at me, so I replied I understand she's in a lot of grief right now, but if she's going to try to break our family apart, I unfortunately won't be attending.
Kat said I was 'picking sides' and 'she doesn't want to me there anyway if I'm going to be like that'. She didn't reply to my texts afterwards, I'm just sort of caught in the middle but Kat's angry with me. AITA?
bitterconflict writes:
YTA. You weren’t caught in the middle. You firmly placed yourself in the middle.
culturalscene writes:
By the way, I bet OP is the golden child, who never experienced the abuse as his sister has, that's why he claims it wasn't that bad. Just like my brother still defends our parents to this day. YTA.
marzipanblue writes:
OP is an major Ahole. A funeral is never the time to start this kind of shit. Its about OP, or their shite parents, its about the sister and her grief. Also you'd think during a time a grief family would be willing to give some grace but apparently not.