'AITA for wearing my bigger engagement ring to my stepsister's surprise engagement?'
When this woman feels guilty about her ring, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for wearing my engagement ring when I knew my stepsister was getting engaged?"
I (28F) got engaged at the beginning of December. For Christmas, I was staying with my mum and stepdad, and they were hosting my stepdad's whole family (stepsiblings, mother, brothers, cousins + families) for a New Year's party.
Prior to this, my stepsister (29F) Rachel's (now) fiancé Matt informed my parents that he was going to propose and asked if it would be okay to do it at the party, and my parents agreed. For the party, everyone was dressing up, and obviously (to me) I was wearing my engagement ring.
Everybody already knew I was engaged, but it was the first time they'd seen the ring in person, so at the start of the party, everyone was interested in seeing it. I did notice Matt was being a bit cold with me but I thought it was nerves.
The proposal happened and it was beautiful. Everyone congratulated Rachel but it was kind of a 50/50 on people wanting to look at and compliment her ring and mine. A lot of comparisons were made, nothing unkind, and everyone was really happy for Rachel, as was I.
The day after, Rachel and Matt blew up about me wearing my ring to the party. Rachel said I was deliberately trying to draw attention to myself on her special night, and that since I knew beforehand she was getting engaged I shouldn't have worn my ring, since I don't always wear it anyway.
I don't really agree with this, since I've been engaged for weeks, and everyone already knew about it, it's not like I stole her thunder, nor did I intend to by wearing my ring. I wore it because I'm engaged so it's what you do.
Matt then accused me of embarrassing by wearing my 'colossally large' ring when I knew Rachel's wouldn't be anywhere near as big, and intentionally showing him up in front of the family. He even went on about the other jewelry I wore.
My stepdad called them both stupid for their outburst. My stepbrother says there's no way I could have known that's how they'd feel, it's not like they asked me not to wear it. My mum says while she knows I didn't do it deliberately she can see where Rachel is coming from since everyone preferred my ring to hers.
She also said that given that my ring is quite unique, I should have considered it would draw attention. AITA?
Let's find out.
rainyreminder writes:
NTA. You are engaged, it is normal for you to wear your ring especially at family occasions! What's next--can you not bring your husband to their wedding because any reminder that anyone else has ever gotten married would be upstaging their day?
artichoke33 writes:
OP is definitely NTA for simply wearing her ring. The AHs are the people at the party who made a show of comparing OP’s bigger ring to Rachel’s smaller one and making it known that OP’s was better. That is a really crappy thing to do, and I understand why Rachel felt bad being treated that way. But her anger was misdirected at OP.
oklowky writes:
NTA. If you want some petty revenge, accuse Matt of trying to steal your engagement limelight. You got engaged a few weeks ago, but no one had seen your ring or had the chance to celebrate with you in person until this night.
He should've allowed you and your fiance the chance to enjoy celebrations and attention instead of stealing it all for himself and your stepsister. (I personally think they're both totally ridiculous, but hey! What's some petty revenge between siblings?)