Woman on train puts bag on seat, older man calls her an 'entitled b*tch.' AITA?
When this woman feels torn about train etiquette, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to sit next to this man?'
I (f, 30s) was riding an almost empty train, there were maybe 5 or 6 people in the whole carriage. I sat in a four-seater (two seats on one side, two across) and spread out my stuff, put my jacket on the seat across from me and put my feet on it so that the seat wouldn't get touched by my socks. If it matters: It was early in the morning and I had been wearing these socks for less than an hour. My shoes are also clean as I alternate two pairs daily to let them dry out between uses.
A guy in Innguess his late forties or maybe early fifties entered the train, came straight to me and said 'move your bag'. I was puzzled since there was plenty of free seats to go around, so I asked if he really wanted this particular seat and he said yes. So I picked up my bag, he plopped down next to me and I proceeded to pack up my laptop, drink, jacket, put on my shoes and moved to a different four-seater. I spread out again.
Before I could even get my shoes off, the dude was standing in front of me and said 'move your bag'. I asked why. He said that he wanted to sit there. I answered that he had been wanting that certain seat that I vacated for him, so I don't see why he would want to switch seats.
He scoffed and explained that it was not about the specific seat but about 'entitled people who think their bags deserve a seat'. I told him that I moved once for him and wouldn't move again. He made a movement as if he wanted to grab my bag and I raised my voice saying 'don't you fucking dare!'. He started lamenting about entitled people again. I told him 'I moved for you. There are hundreds of free seats on this train, sit somewhere else.'
He called me an asshole and went back to his seat. Then he called someone on his phone (or acted like it, who knows) and proceeded to loudly complain about 'entitled b*tches'. To be clear, when a train filles up, I of course gather my stuff and vacate seats around me so that others can sit. But I don't see why I should let some rando boss me around and invade my personal space for no reason. AITA?
Let's find out.
curlypat7 writes:
NTA; op next time call out his creepiness out loud. Use words like harassing, threaten to report, record on your phone etc. Go nuclear. Sometimes the way to keep assholes like this in check, is to be crazier than them.
hotarutomae writes:
NTA. If the train was half-empty, it's not his business what you do. After you moved and he followed you, he escalated the situation and frankly he behaved like a certified creep. The move to grab your bag was a big no no. Good think you raised your voice: too often women are inculcated by society to be quiet, to be nice, not to cause a scene, and that's how we end up abused.
imaginarian78 writes:
NTA! The train was practically empty. You did nothing wrong. That weird man has serious issues that have nothing to do with you. To walk up to a lone woman on an almost-empty train and demand that she move her bag is a RUDE flex! If some creep did that to me, I would tell him to pound sand and I wouldn’t move. I would dramatically wave my arm at the sea of empty seats and tell him where to go. You behaved much more politely than I would have, Lol.