'AITA for not appreciating a gift from my husband?'
"AITA for not appreciating a gift from my husband?'"
It could be funny if it wasn’t so sad to me. My husband of 8 years lost his earphones and always borrows mine, so I decided to get them new ones for Christmas.
He also mentioned that he would like to have a better speaker to use in our kitchen and living room, so I got him one as well. Just for context, I never listen to music at home because I’m already constantly overstimulated caring for three children.
You’ll never guess what he got „me“ for Christmas. Earphones and a speaker. Believe it or not, the exact same ones, so now we have two of each. I guess at least I know I got him exactly what he wanted…
He started laughing his ass off, but to me it felt like a slap in the face, especially after the difficult year we’ve had.
I couldn’t believe he’d get me something only he would be using, something that wasn’t actually for me. So I said a little dryly: „Huh, so I got you something you wanted and you got you something you wanted. That is funny“. Literally the worst gift ever.
He snapped and left the room. I iced him out for a while. Later he explained that we had agreed we’d only give each other a small gift and he thought it was something practical. AITA for still being a little hurt over this?
Let's find out.
And how is a speaker and headphones small gifts?
OP responded:
They’re not, they’re only small in size (which is what I was going to say in case he brought up our previous agreement). I wanted to get him something that would really make him happy because like I said, it’s been a very difficult year for us. Oh well.
auntofmillions write:
NTA He def bought something for himself. Hope you've taken them back to get something you want.
OP responded:
This only just happened a few hours ago, but I intend to take everyone’s advice and pick out something nice for myself :)
lizzbum writes:
NTA - I would be hurt as well. You feel completely unseen and not taken seriously. You sound like the primary care giver and it’s a thankless job. All we need is some acknowledgment from our partners and not some half ass excuse for paying no attention. Release your guilt for being rightfully pissed!
almondcutebanana writes:
NTA If he was thinking of giving you something practical, it must have been something practical for you. Maybe a spa day or something that will help you listen to the silence for a few hours.
I am a full time mother of 3 and I understand what it feels like to be overstimulated all day and not even be able to listen to half a song because you are overwhelmed. You should try to talk to him about how you feel and he should apologize.
NTA. Does he normally do things like this? He knows he was being selfish and you called it out. This is why he snapped.
People who do things like that typically exhibit behaviors were they always prioritize themselves over their partners. The fact he couldn’t be bothered to get you something you would like shows a distinct lack of caring. You agreed to get each other something small and couldn’t be bothered to give you something meaningful?! It’s honestly a little cruel. My heart hurts for you.
OP responded:
It’s becoming a pattern, unfortunately. Thank you though, it’s good to hear I’m not overreacting here.