22 of the funniest tweets from parents who dared to be honest about raising kids.

Apr 3, 2023 | 9:49 A.M. ET

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Being a parent can be a hilarious, rewarding, inspiring, and exhausting journey of bargaining with a toddler, sleep deprivation, and teenagers slamming doors in your face...

So, if you could certainly use a relatable and cathartic laugh to get you through the chaos of your daily parenting grind, here are the funniest tweets we could find from parents everywhere who are ready to vent. The internet if often full of judgmental trolls and mommy shamers, but luckily we have the wits of Twitter to keep it real.

1.

Toddlers mark their territory by sneezing all over you and everything you own
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) March 29, 2023

2.

I’m not saying I’m a superstar WWE wrestler, I’m just saying I’ve pinned my kid down to put a diaper on them.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) March 29, 2023

3.

Have kids so you can argue about things like whether or not it is actually raining.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 26, 2023

4.

My daughter just told me she doesn’t like Cadbury eggs and oh thank god bc the 12 I bought her accidentally fell into my facehole
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 27, 2023

5.

overheard 13 bragging to his friend that he's an adult now and he can download and do whatever he wants on his phone and his parents can't do anything about it. So i went on my phone into our family app and locked him out of his cell phone. try me again bruh.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 29, 2023

6.

I don’t have a favorite child but if you were to go by the photos on my phone it’s the dog.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 26, 2023

7.

My 5yo was standing in front of the mirror wearing plastic heels and a purse. I told her she looked cute. She looked at me like she's better than me, "I'm rich." Okay then.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) March 27, 2023

8.

Got a call from my son’s preschool today. I had to go pick him up early because he *checks notes* gave himself a headache dancing too hard in music class.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 28, 2023

9.

I let my kid stir the pancake batter and now he keeps asking for the whisk-y, going to have a lot of explaining to do at preschool
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 27, 2023

10.

I'm not scared of my teen daughter's mood swings, but sometimes I do give her a piece of chocolate so she'll be nice to me.
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) March 29, 2023

11.

I knew my daughter was an empath when she told me she wanted to save her teeth that had fallen out to give to old people
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 28, 2023

12.

Being a parent involves washing everyone else’s sheets, making everyone else’s beds, then passing out on your bare mattress with a goldfish cracker stuck to your forehead
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 27, 2023

13.

Me: “Good night, sleep well, I love you.”
…
7: “Did you know all the days of the week end in the word ‘day’?”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) March 29, 2023

14.

My parents bought my kid Guess Who with a timer because it’s important that she learns stress at 4 years old
— Tada (@krystaunclear) March 26, 2023

15.

My 13yo started with “bro,” which turned into “bruh,” which has now morphed into “bruv,” thereby completing her transition into a chimney sweep.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 29, 2023

16.

My toddler tripped over one of her toys and fell to the ground but instead of crying she just laid down on the floor as if that was what she meant to do all along
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) April 3, 2023

17.

Gonna start writing down notes and taking photos during my toddlers biggest tantrums and at the end of the year present them in an awards ceremony to my husband like the Oscars.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 2, 2023

18.

My kid: *does something cute*

Me: That's great, sweetie, now please can you do it again in a cleaner part of the house so I can take a photo?
— Annie Way (@Anniewritess) March 30, 2023

19.

My toddler was babbling a mile a minute first thing this morning and my 4yo said, ‘I’m going to need pancakes if I’m going to listen to you,’ so he’s my stress management coach now.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) March 29, 2023

20.

Highly recommend having children.

Just got randomly kissed on the cheek by my toddler who said "dad nice"
— Beeb (@ybees3) March 29, 2023

21.

My toddler just learned the phrase, “what’s that?” God help me.
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) March 25, 2023

22.

3yo: 🎵 You're my best friend. 🎵

Me: Awe. You're my best friend too.

3yo: No. I'm singing a song. Not telling you you are my best friend.
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) March 31, 2023

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