18 parents share the most embarrassing thing their kid has ever done in public.

Kids can be hilariously brutally honest, but when they blurt out exactly what's on their mind to a stranger in public, it can become a haunting tale for parents...

So, when a Reddit user asked parents everywhere, 'what is the most awkward situation your child has put you in in public?' people were ready to share the moment they wished they could teleport directly off of planet Earth.

1.

Took my 3 year old son to Disneyland, where we saw his hero Buzz Lightyear. Coincidentally he had just told me he had to 'go potty,' and I knew I had a matter of seconds to get him to a bathroom, because once a toddler tells you he has to go it means he is near bursting at the seams.

I tried gently leading him away, but he started babbling about pushing Buzz's buttons so that he would start flying around. When he realized I was going to drag him the other direction, he started screaming, 'Buzz! I want to touch you! Let me touch you!' This got a lot of startled looks. I hoisted him up and started carrying him away under my arm.

He immediately wet his pants all over both of us and continued wailing, 'Buzz! Let me touch you! I'll let you touch meeeee!' as dozens of tourists started in shock. Suffice to say I hid in the bathroom for a while. - brokebackhill

2.

We went on a cruise to Alaska, with my daughter who was 3 at the time. The boat was filled with large people. We've been in the boat less than an hour, and I get into an elevator with my daughter and her eyes shoot wide open as she scans around the elevator. She tugs on my hand. 'Daddy!' I know what she's going to say. 'Not now sweetie.' 'Daddy!'

'Ask me when we get out, ok honey?' 'DADDY.' By this point everyone is staring at her urging her to talk. So she yells out for everyone to hear 'Daddy! What are there sooooo many FAT people?' The remainder of the ride was awkward. - _Jordan

3.

Earlier this summer I took my 2 year old to the park. We weren't on the playground, but in a shaded area nearby that had a bunch of statues that kids like to climb on. My daughter was just kind of wandering around looking at the statues and finishing a big cookie she got from the grocery store earlier.

Another dad and his kids show up and they are playing on the statues. I turn my back for one second (to check out a hot girl in a bikini hula-hooping. Random, but whatever).

I turn back around to find my daughter putting a big chunk of her cookie in the other dad's pants pocket. He was preoccupied with his kids and had no idea my daughter was doing that. So, I had to go up to the guy and say 'hey, I'm really sorry, but I think my daughter just put a cookie in your pocket.'

Fortunately, since the guy was a dad, he understood that kids do weird things sometimes. He handled it like a champ and grabbed the cookie out of his pocket, said 'thanks, I love cookies!' to my daughter and then proceeded to eat the cookie. He had a great sense of humor about it and made an awkward situation pretty hilarious. - DoubleTap57

4.

Children's time at church. During the main sunday service, The Kids all come down front, sit facing the audience, and the pastor comes down and sits in front of them and tells a brief story or lesson to the kids, before they go down to the children's room.

One of my sons was about 3 or so, and he decides to reach down, pull out his penis and start playing with himself. In front of the whole congregation. I have NEVER seen my wife move so fast. She jumped about 5 or six pews to grab him and haul him out of there. After that, we sat on the front row for about the next 5 years. - RoboNinjaPirate

5.

When my daughter was young, think 2 or 3 year-old, she had apparently questioned her mother about the difference between boys and girls. I learned this fact as I arrived home from work. We lived in an apartment building at the time.

As I was coming up the stairs and my neighbor was coming out of his apartment, my daughter popped her head out the door, saw my neighbor, and proudly declared, 'My daddy has a penis!' - upnorthbubba

6.

11 month old toddles towards you cheerful and giggling as you enter our house for a party. Distracted by his smile you don't notice until •whomp• he intentionally pulls your skirt/trousers down in front of the whole room and then laughs at you. Every. Single. Visitor. - esmemori

7.

Yesterday at the zoo, my 4 year old stepdaughter saw a kid on one of those child leashes. She waited until we are literally side-by-side with them to ask me, 'Why is that boy on that like a dog?' - reddit_beats_college

8.

My brother once asked my mom why a lady's stomach was so big. She answered it was because the lady was pregnant. Loudly, my brother asked the follow-up question, 'Is that why her butt's so big, too?!' - superherbie

9.

My kid was well behaved at the zoo, so we stood in line to purchase a stuffed animal at the gift shop. While making small talk with the cashier, I mentioned that my kid had been so well-behaved, and wanted to get her something special.

At this point my toddler started screaming bloody murder while I was trying to complete the money transaction (it was taking too long to pull out money), so I apologized to the cashier and left the shop with my screaming spawn and without the toy. - turtle_mama

10.

Mother's Day. Out for lunch at a brewpub-restaurant with my wife, her mother, and our three-year-old kid. Mother's Day is about the worst day of the year to try to dine out because the whole planet is doing it and any restaurant is full of fidgeting children and moms who are dejected because they weren't taken to the Ritz-Carlton.

Ours included. The place is heaving with people, the waiter is harassed and in the weeds, and everything is moving slowly.

At one point the waiter, who was doing the best he could under trying circumstances, forgot to bring a breadbasket or something and after he moved away my programmed-to-find-fault MIL muttered, 'He's not a very good waiter.'

Kid took note. When the poor man finally brought our plates my son piped up: 'Did you know you're not a very good waiter?' Earth, swallow me up. The guy didn't speak to us again throughout the meal. I left a big tip. - AnotherPint

11.

My kid pooped in the pool of a tropical resort hotel. The awkward embarrassment after it happened has yet to be matched in my parenthood experience. - Porterstreeter

12.

A few years ago, we were waiting at the airport to go to Disney World and my 3yo son turns to me, as the terminal fell silent, and said, 'sometimes planes crash into buildings.' The entire crowd looked at me and then started laughing. Luckily, an understanding group. It was one of those moments where his inner monologue wasn't working. - nap9283

13.

When my daughter was around two years of age she found it hilarious to run away from me in stores when I took her shopping with me. My solution for the stores that didn't have baskets with seat belts was to buy one of those child leashes. Her reaction was to get on all fours, bark like a dog, and pretend to pee on the legs of everyone that walked by her. Only used that leash once. - HCTIB_A_SI_NASUS

14.

I'm an American living in the UK. I flew back to the US with my nearly 3-year old daughter in March. We ended up flying all over the damned US to see family because apparently no one else knows how to buy a plane ticket.

I digress. As the three quarters full flight from Detroit into Cedar Rapids was about to take off, I look over at my daughter and she's got her shirt over her head. In my usual Mom voice I ask her what she's doing.

She proceeds to scream, 'I'M PLAYING WITH MY NIPPLES!!!!!!' Did my child just yell that? Yep, she did. It was so ridiculous that I couldn't decide if I should laugh or admonish her. In the end I just told her to pull her shirt down between giggles. - BoulderCat

15.

My 8 year old climbed up on the base platform for a mannequin at a department store then proceeded to look me in the eye. I was quivering with fear for what he would do next. I learned how warranted my fear was when his hand slowly presses against the boob on the mannequin and slowly a smirk paints itself onto his face. His exact words, 'I'm not supposed to touch this.' - [deleted]

16.

My two-year-old girl just learned the word 'help,' which she uses whenever she needs to get down from somewhere like a high chair or one of those baby swings at the playground.

This is great, except that she won't stop screaming 'Help!' until her feet are firmly on the ground, which has led to situations where people are giving horrified looks as my husband tries to pull a wriggling two-year-old girl out of a shopping cart seat, while she screams 'Help! HEEEEEELP!' the entire time like he's some weirdo trying to pull off the world's loudest child abduction. - theycallmedoctorwife

17.

My daughter used to go to church, but I didn't. She went with her grandmother. However, for Easter I decided to go since she wanted me to come. The pastor starts talking about Jesus, the death and the resurrection, something I had never really talked to her about before, so this is her first time hearing it.

As he describes the rolling away of the stone from the crypt and Jesus stepping forth alive, my 5 year old kid jumps up and shouts 'Jesus was a zombie?' The pastor took it in stride and was pretty nice about it, but the parishioners all stared at us funny when service was over. - morgueanna

18.

My daughter got bruises on her arm while playing with my in-law's dog during a sleepover, the next day I picked her up and we went to Chuck E Cheese for games, I beat her in Skee Ball and we laughed about it. Afterwards we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch and the waitress asked her about her arms, her response 'Daddy Beat Me'...

I quickly stammered and probably looked like a complete idiot, we had a quick visit from the local police officer who was in earshot eating his lunch and after about 10 minutes of explaining and questioning everyone had a good laugh about it. - dougglatt