Woman asks if she's wrong to skip cousin's wedding over name on invitation.

A woman is wondering if she's a hero or a villain for refusing to go to her cousin's wedding in the name of feminism.

The wedding will be in January 2021, and she won't be there because of the wording on the envelope, and she turned to 'Am I The A**hole?' for validation. She wrote:

My cousin [30M] is getting married to his girlfriend of 4 years, [29F]. The wedding will be in January 2021 and the invitations arrived 2 days ago. His girlfriend's family is very rich/formal and the invitations reflected that.

My husband and I [27F] received the invite in the mail, and they were addressed to 'Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.' I was livid, because they totally erased my name and my identity by referring to me as an extension of my husband. My husband thought it was old fashioned but he didn't think it was offensive.

She confronted the cousin directly, and expressed her concern.

I called my cousin yesterday night, and told him that I will not be attending because of the wording on the invitation. I said, technically he didn't even invite ME because he never even wrote my own name on the invitation. I mean, I go by my maiden name and I never took my husband's last name when we married.

My cousin apologized, said his girlfriend and her family were mainly responsible for the wedding planning, including the invitations, and he said they didn't know they were addressed like that.

He said others received their invites a few days ago and nobody has complained about them so far. I told him that's no excuse for the blatant sexism on his invites and that we will not be attending.

The rest of her family is not impressed with the protest.

My mother thinks I'm overreacting, she said my aunt is very upset at me and says I'm being a 'drama queen'. AITA here?

People on Reddit agree with OP's mom and aunt, suggesting that she's picking a truly ridiculous hill for her relationship with her family to die on.

'YTA (You're The A**hole). I am a feminist, but I think you’re choosing the wrong battle here and being a little petty,' heatherhobbit wrote. 'They addressed the invitations in a formal and traditional way. It’s not really setting feminism back in any way. Don’t be petty. If your cousin is important to you, you should go.'

'In 10 years will you really care how they addressed the envelope or that you missed the wedding of a family member,' kellydofc warned.

Commenters encouraged OP not to see the phrasing as a grand conspiracy against her feminist individuality, but rather a formality that the bride's family overlooked.

'It would be different if they were specifically targeting you and trying to offend you. However, I'm almost positive that they didn't word it that way just to spite you. It's the classic way to address invitations. That's the way I was even taught to address my graduation invitations and thank you cards. It's just tradition,' thetrashiestofpandas explained.

'And you're really going to let a simple tradition stop you from celebrating what is supposed to be one of the most important days of your cousins life with him? Even when he obviously had nothing to do with it? That's a big AH move.'

Let this be a lesson: don't judge an invitation by its envelope, and always prioritize family over 'offensive' calligraphy.