'AITA for asking my parents for my money back?' 'I'm probably owed $25,000.'
"AITA for asking my parents for my money back?"
I’ve always dreamed of moving out from my family home because of all the drama I faced growing up with them. I moved out around 2022 but somehow my parents convinced me that paying rent somewhere else doesn’t make sense when I could just live at home for free. As someone who wants to buy their own place one day this made sense.
However, ever since moving back, I’ve been asked to pay for things that I’ve been promised would be paid back for. It started off with just some random $200 here and there. But then it jumped to $1,000 and eventually even $10,000.
Now mind you, my parents and I live in a very well off neighborhood in a house that has seven bedrooms with marble floors. So from the outside, it looks like we’re very well off. But my mom has explained to me a few times that they’re struggling to pay off the mortgage on this house and our previous house.
I obviously thought about “or why don’t you just sell our old house?” But it is our childhood home and you would be a shame to get rid of that asset. I’ve asked politely about when I could be expecting my money back.
But I would usually be responded with “I can’t talk about that right now” or “it’s coming just be patient." That was a year ago. It’s hard to be talking about this subject with them without them losing their temper.
To me it just seems like they’re ignoring the fact that they have to pay me back and that hopefully “I’ll forget." I’m a student right now and pay for my tuition myself and I work part-time. And I know I’m living in their house rent free but at this point, I’d rather just move out again than have these inconsistent promises and guilt tripping. So far I'm probably owed 25,000. AITA for pushing them to pay me back?
EDIT:
People that have been suggesting that I should just move into our other house/ buy off the deed since I paid so much already, I wish I could but my relatives are renting out the house right now.
Plus 25k isn’t nearly enough to put a down payment. And as much as I shouldn’t be hopeful, my parents said that the only reason they aren’t selling it is because they would like to pass down the other home to either me or my sister.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Ambitious-Border-906 said:
No NTA, but learn a lesson from this: money lent to friends and family is pretty much given away and will rarely be seen again.
CuyahogaBirdy said:
NTA but agree with other comments that you should learn from this. IMO going through the legal system would be the best way to ensure you get your money back. Especially if they lose their temper and sounds like they gaslight you every time you bring it up.
gentledhalia said:
NTA. It's your money and you worked for it. that amount is not small, so it's just right that you ask for it. maybe it's time for you to move out now, good luck.
Impossible-Cap-7240 said:
NTA. But I hope you realize that you're never going to see that 25k again. Your parents should sell some property, as they clearly can't afford what they currently own.
Danielhal28 said:
NTA...Parents tend to think because they took care of you till you're grown, it's automatically your turn to take care of them once you're independent...quite funny but they gotta know you also need time to be stable and also will have your own family to take care of.
froginmymouth said:
NTA. You’re not running a charity for your parents’ poor financial decisions. Loaning them $25,000 is an enormous sacrifice, especially as a student. Living rent-free doesn’t justify them dodging repayment—stand your ground and consider moving out to protect your boundaries.