BIL mocks 30yo man for having his 'mummy' cut his veggies; 'I am disabled.' AITA?
'AITA for telling my BIL to leave after he found out my mum cuts vegetables for me?'
I (30M) was born with a bone missing in my arm, as a result I only have one digit. If that wasn’t enough, it was in a fixed position with my digit up by my shoulder and the ligament and tendons didn’t really develop so I can’t straighten my arm.
My parents were great at making sure I would be independent and able to live by myself. Some things I physically can’t do, like tie shoe laces. For the most part I can cut anything by myself, but I struggle with doing fine dices.
Every other month or so, my mum will finely cut some veggies for me (usually onion, celery and carrots) so that I can freeze them. I asked her to do this when I lived on my own for the first time because I was fed up with sending onions flying all over my kitchen if I used a knife or it turning to mush if I used the food processor.
When my girlfriend (28F) started dating, she told me that she couldn’t cook but also didn’t have an interest in learning to cook. I said this was fine because I like to cook, so when she moved in I became the de facto cook.
She has never expressed a problem with my mum cutting vegetables for me, she actually preferred it as she has said she couldn’t cut them finely for me. Her brother (35M) is currently staying with us and has been for the last 4 weeks since his ex threw him out because of how lazy he is.
He doesn’t have a job – I don’t think he has for the 3 years I’ve been with GF – nor is he looking for one, he also doesn’t help around the house. We were his last resort because no one else would take him in, not even their parents.
My mum came over yesterday with the freezer bags of diced veggies for me. My BIL was annoyed when he saw my mum with the veggies because that morning my GF and I had spoken to him about not being so lazy and told him to get a job because he’s an adult and needs to stop relying on people like a child (GF’s words not mine).
He was annoyed because he saw me as being a hypocrite because I was getting my mum to cut things for me “like a child”. After my mum left he accused her of mollycoddling me and treating me like I’m incompetent.
For me this was a crossed line because this is something I physically can’t do and my mum is just being helpful. I told BIL that I wanted him to leave and that he was no longer welcome in my home - GF moved in with me to my house.
GF was upset that I asked her brother to leave as I made a decision without her input and left with him.
Since BIL and GF left, I have texts from him and their family accusing me of being a mummy’s boy, telling me I need to cut the apron strings and cut my own vegetables like an adult. GF hasn’t answered my texts.
AITA for telling my BIL to leave?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
GF and her lazy freeloading brother need to stay gone. Good riddance. Don’t let them back in - either of them - for any reason. These are NOT your people.
NTA unless you let these freeloaders back in your home.
NTA - have you tried one of these? I can't chop onions so use this and it works great. It would probably do other veggies too https://www.amazon.com/Vegetable-Chopper-Multifunctional-Kitchen-Container/dp/B09YH5CPQP/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=vegetable+chopper&qid=1687133233&sr=8-7
She's lazy too - he does all the cooking and she can't even dice vegetables for him? And now she's letting other people disrespect him for not dicing vegetables even though she, a presumably able bodied person with all her fingers, can't do it either? It's bewildering. How can someone have so little shame?
Yeah that’s the bit that got me. She doesn’t want to cook, fine! Then she can prep, shop or clean. I wonder what she does?
You spelled 'ex-GF' wrong. NTA
The OP responded to these comments:
Edit: I do use frozen veggies, they are great for a lot of applications, but definitely not for fresh eating. I get some of the harder veggies like butternut squash already cut up and frozen. Though frozen onions I seem to only be able to get sliced.
My local supermarket does have prepared veg in the fruit and veg department, but it honestly doesn't look great. The onion in particular is always slimy looking. I do actually need to get a new veg chopper like the slap chop or the box ones that people have suggested.
My niece (3) broke my last one trying to help me cook, my sister offered to replace it but I told her it was an accident and she didn't need to do that. I've seen links to a couple that look better than the one I had where I might be able to cut as finely as I want, so I'm gonna order one and give it a try.