'AITA for moving on after the girl I liked rejected me when I asked her out?'
A woman that rejected me is mad that I moved on.
Open_Address_2805 writes:
I've been casually seeing this girl, 'Amy,' for a few months now. We've been together, and we might occasionally go out together, but for the most part, it's just late-night calls. Even though our relationship is mostly just that, I do enjoy her company outside of that, and she's definitely got more to offer.
A few days ago, we were lying in bed, and I told her that I wanted to take things more seriously between us. She said, "I'm flattered. I really like you. This is great. You're a great guy. I want us to keep seeing each other... etc., but I'm not in a position to be your girlfriend or take a relationship seriously."
She basically gave the "it's not you, it's me" speech but in many more words. It stung hearing that because I did want something more with her, but it is what it is. I'll take the L and move on.
One of my bosses' clients is this rich guy who throws these big parties at his house 3-4 times a year. The previous two parties that he threw, my boss invited me, and I took Amy as my plus one, but I obviously didn't want to go with her this time.
I hit up some people to see if anyone was interested, and this girl, 'Lisa,' was down. Lisa and Amy turned out to be friends - not close friends, but they are connected on social media (I don't have social media, and I had no idea they knew each other). We ended up going together and hooked up by the end of the night.
The next day, Amy starts blowing up my phone and starts going off on me for partying with another girl. At this point, I didn't even know how she knew, but then she said that she saw Lisa's Insta stories or whatever it was. She was absolutely furious, but I told her that she had no right to be.
She's not my girlfriend; she doesn't have any say in what I do or who I do it with. Amy asked me if I slept with Lisa, and I said that it was none of her business. She was absolutely raging, but I told her that I can do whatever I want with whoever I want because I'm single.
Here are the top comments from the post:
Sheron_Benne says:
NTA (Not the A%^&ole). Looks like Amy wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She’s not entitled to any exclusivity from you after making her stance clear, and yet she assumes she can dictate your actions? You're not some backup toy waiting on the shelf. Good on you for moving on and not getting tangled up in her double standards.
Schneeflocke667 says:
NTA. She either has you as a backup plan or wanted you to play games and ask harder. Either way she is to blame, not you.
Cinaedus_Perversus says:
Of course you're NTA. Amy made it very clear that you two were just messing around. Thus she has no say in what you do and with who.
Gisselle_Lueders says:
NTA. Amy had no intention of committing but expected you to be at her beck and call. Just because she's upset doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It's not a backup plan—it's your life and your choices.
Clearly, you respected her decision to keep things casual, and you're entitled to live your life without waiting for someone who can't make up their mind. It's about self-respect, and you've shown plenty by not being swayed by her sudden change of heart.
What do you think? Was OP right to go out with Lisa?