'AITA for breastfeeding my son around my father-in-law despite him getting upset?'

"AITA for breastfeeding my son around my father-in-law despite him getting upset?"

I (23F) recently had my first child and have been breastfeeding. I don't use a cover because my baby doesn't like it. My husband's parents have commented in the past about my breastfeeding, saying I don't need to be doing it in public, "distracting" and "showing myself" to people other than my husband, because it can wait until I can do it privately at home.

The issue recently happened when my FIL came over to visit. He made a comment to my husband that I managed to overhear about how my top was showing too much. I did notice him glancing a few times. I wasn't wearing anything revealing really - just a normal top - but I do have a bigger chest, and a little skin was visible.

I know my husband's parents don't like me nursing around them or near them. My husband's asked me previously if I could do it in my room to not cause a fuss when they're over. I was nursing in my room upstairs that day, but I was getting a little tired (I haven't been getting much sleep, taking care of my baby), constantly going upstairs, and my baby was hungry.

They were all busy outside and I was in the living room alone. Nobody was there and I started, but then my FIL came back into the room after coming back in the house, and looked right at me and huffed a little. My husband and MIL followed him into the room and she said "You don't have to do that here do you?" to which I didn't really know how to respond.

My FIL, who moved more into the room in front of me and was looking right at my chest, muttered under his breath "I'll just start walking around with my junk out huh." My MIL told me to take it to my room so her husband didn't have to "see it all hanging out" and she motioned to her chest.

I was just looking back at them not knowing what to say. I kind of froze and just continued breastfeeding my son and they just stood there watching like they were expecting me to move and I just felt exposed and shy wishing I had just done it in my room. My husband got them to calm down and eventually his parents left the room with a little huff.

My husband went and got me a glass of water. It got a little awkward after that. I'm not really confrontational and for the rest of that day until they left I just went to my room quietly to do it. They've commented like this before and it's hurt my confidence, for example in breastfeeding in public. I really didn't mean anything and was just trying to feed my son. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

keatonpotat0es wrote:

”you don’t have to do that here do you?”

Do what? Feed your baby? In yours & the baby’s own home? Who the f--k do these people think they are? Lmao NTA but I would stop inviting these weirdos over.

affectionate_oven610 wrote:

NTA. What a pair!

Get husband to tell them you may nurse your son in your own home whenever and wherever you choose.

If that makes them uncomfortable, they are welcome to spend time with your son once he has fully weaned. I recommend saying you will be sticking with it “up to 2 years and beyond” as per WHO recommendations.

Extra-Visit-8385 wrote:

NTA. You are not flaunting your bare breasts - you are feeding a baby. Next time they say something reply by saying “My breasts are for feeding my child, not for your s-xual enjoyment. If you can’t handle that, you need to remove yourself as I will not make myself or my baby uncomfortable because you can’t avert your gaze.”

surejanet wrote:

It is normal and acceptable to breastfeed a baby wherever you are. It is not your problem your father in law is a creep who is aroused at the sight of your breasts. I would see your in-laws much less, they are extremely entitled and disrespectful. Imagine equating breastfeeding with pulling your d--k out. He’s a creep. NTA.

ScowlyBrowSpinster wrote:

In laws are AHs. They expect you to WAIT to feed your baby til you get home. Not gonna happen, baby eats when hungry, they can f off. Then they are AT YOUR HOME, and THE BABY'S HOME, trying to tell you where to feed your baby. They need to f off entirely, maybe till the baby is weaned, if that's their attitude.

Breastfeeding a baby is in no way the same as a grumpy old fart taking out his 'junk' in his son and daughter in law's home, because HE s-xualizes HER breasts, rather than realizing their biological function has nothing to do with him.

Your husband needs to tell his parents that you're BREASTFEEDING, not making a peep show for his perverse gawking. Since he cannot avert his eyes and allow his grandchild to be fed without disparaging commentary, they should plan to see the baby in about a year, because their attitudes are too backward to tolerate.

PanamaLife1113 wrote:

You are NTA. We had an incident with my husband's Dad one time at our place and he quickly told him this is our home she is not going to the room to feed him it's just not going to happen that way. I also had no problem nursing in public places as I would hold my own. I was firm in what I believed.

The only time I questioned my breastfeeding was in front of my husband's two older boys and I made sure to ask them when they were over if it was okay and they said that their Mom nurses their sister so it doesn't bother them, and then I made sure to check with their mom and she said the same. Your child has to eat and everyone else can kick rocks.