'AITA for buying my own dinner because I don't like what the in-laws order?' UPDATED

"AITA for buying my own dinner because I don't like what the in-laws order?"

I'd like to preface by saying that I am not a picky person. I don't just...turn down food. I'm always willing to try new things, even if they're weird or unconventional. One of my favorite things to do is to pick out something I've never tried in the grocery store.

But my in-laws are hooked on this one take 'n bake pizza joint that I just cannot stand. I've tried to like it. I've ordered so many different things off of their menu. I just. Don't. Like it. They order it for every single family event. Every get together. Every holiday. Every birthday.

I started ordering my own meals to bring to the parties. They got upset when they realized what I was doing. I explained that I LIKE ordering my own food, because it's a chance to get a treat for myself that I don't normally order. Still, they're always trying to convince my partner to get me to change my mind and just eat the same pizza as everyone else.

This Halloween, we'd all planned to get together for a Halloween party. My partner and I had actually planned out a fun homemade meal (pasta bar) for everyone, but MIL became VERY upset that we weren't getting pizza. She put her foot down so hard that we thought there'd be an actual honest to God fight about it, so we told her she could order the take 'n bake she wanted.

And of course, I was going to run to the store and get my own favorite pizza. She became SO angry. She insisted that I eat what she ordered, what everyone else was eating, and even offered to buy me ANYTHING that sounded good off the menu. I told her again that I don't like anything on the menu and that I'm perfectly willing to go and buy something that I do enjoy instead.

She's still angry with me. FIL is angry with me. They tried again and again to convince me (they always do) to get something off the take 'n bake menu.

But I just don't like it! AITA for buying my own take out instead of what's being served at the party?

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

EDIT because there's questions: My partner is ALWAYS supportive of me and would never try to make me eat something I didn't like. He does stand up for me and tells them, just like I do, that I just don't like that place. (He's a lot more confident about standing up than I am, tbh) But even when HE gets them to back down, the issue is brought back up the very next time we eat together.

And yes, we were planning on hosting and cooking everything. We'd actually bought all of the ingredients already. But when she gets upset it's a whole big thing that could last for days and ruin the whole party, so it's really a "pick your battles" thing. Have everyone together for Halloween? Or have a silly fight over pasta vs. pizza and miss Halloween altogether trying to do damage control. It's a mess.

The comments quickly came rolling in.

Lucky_Six_1530 wrote:

“My partner and I had actually planned out a fun homemade meal (pasta bar) for everyone, but MIL became VERY upset that we weren't getting pizza.”

This is just plain rude of her, especially when she gets mad at you for getting your own food.

JtBlakeinNYC wrote:

OP, have you actually sat down with your in-laws and explained that you really, really, truly cannot stand the food from this restaurant? If you have, then they’re TA for continuing to order from a place they know you hate.

If you haven’t, then you’re still NTA, but by a very fine margin, because in the absence of giving them an honest explanation, you come off as someone who is being intentionally difficult by insisting on getting food from a different restaurant every time.

It’s okay not to like the same pizza place that your in-laws do. It’s also okay for them to not like the same pizza place you do. What isn’t okay is not being open about it.

OP responded:

Yes, I have explained many times. They've asked me what exactly I don't like about it. I told them that, for some reason, everything that this place makes tastes bitter to me. Like actually BITTER. Sour. They told me that they don't think it tastes bitter, but they continued to try and have me try different things on the menu. It hasn't stopped. They just don't believe me, I guess.

External-Hamster-991 wrote:

Wait. So you and your husband were hosting and MIL was furious that you weren't serving food from the place she knows you hate? Yeah, that's a hard no. You're all adults and no one else gets to tell you what you must eat. Maybe she's too used to being in charge, maybe she's a little titched and can't process the rejection of what she loves, I don't know. But what she absolutely is NOT is the boss of you.

You have to be willing to stop getting together for meals with them for this to stop. And to frame it as her distress is worrisome, and to save her from it, it's best that you don't eat together anymore. You can see movies, go to places you all want to visit, do any and everything - EXCEPT for eating together. Because she becomes so upset when eating and you're afraid for her health.

When that is unacceptable, because EVERYTHING revolves around food, tell her there's one other thing you can think of instead of having to cut off meals. She can think of it as you being allergic to that restaurant. You CAN'T eat their food.

Your body just can't do it. It's not up to you, it has nothing to do with anyone else, and you don't mind that others love it. They can eat your lifetime share. If she can make that work, she might be able to keep you guys around. If not, you have to be willing to let her miss you for a while. NTA. Its not that you don't like it. You're allergic.

Worth-Season3645 wrote:

NTA. So, they are mad at you for the same thing that they would not do? I would ask why thru get so upset that you do not eat any pizza. You have tried different things many times from their place of choice. You do not like it.

What more do they want or expect from you? Where is your partner in all of this? Are they saying something? I would not be going to their events any more if they continue to act like this.

readthethings13579 wrote:

So, you were offering to make what sounds like an awesome home cooked meal for the family and she got irate about not having her crappy pizza? This is not okay. If she’s going to insist that you have to eat what she wants at parties she hosts, then she should also eat what you serve at parties that you host. She’s both a bad host and a bad guest, and I think your partner needs to stop standing for it.