'AITA for choosing to spend New Year's eve alone in a hotel room instead of being with family?' UPDATED
"AITA for choosing to spend New Year's eve alone in a hotel room instead of being with my family?"
I (32F) live in a big house with my parents and brother. Since I work and pay some utilities as well as the property tax, my dad made me a co-owner of the family house (he and my mother spend at 6 months a year abroad).
I spent the New Year's eve from 2022 to 2023 I spent it at home with family (I lost quite a few friends during C0VID, we were all split apart by life during that period). Instead of wishing me a normal happy New Year, my mother told me "I hope you will loose weight in 2023". I got angry, yelled and told her she was a piece of shit (among other things). To this day she had not apologized for that.
So the next year, I rented an apartment on Airbnb 60km from home, in the city I work in. I work in that city so I rented that apartment from the 31st to the 2nd of january (day I had to work). I didn't want my parents to bother me, so I told them I was spending New Year's Eve with friends. It was probably the best New year I had. I ordered sushis, watched movies, did a self care routine.
This year, that Airbnb was not free. So I rented a room in one of those hotels where rooms have a small kitchen. My cousin started working in that hotel. I didn't know before Christmas. Around the christmas dinner, she told all proud "you are staying for New Year in my hotel then."
My parents heard. My mother made it her life mission this weekend to get the truth. I told her I spend New Year's eve alone because at least no one will insult me. So I am a reckless b-ch for spending money (money I earn). So AITA for choosing to spend NYE alone instead of my family?
Not long after posting, OP shared an update.
EDIT: For all saying my cousin needs to be fired, you should know that she immediately apologized when she saw the mess. Also she is 19, a student and it's her first job. I know she wouldn't reveal info about a stranger, she just wanted to brag a bit about her first job. We had a good talk and we are okay. The issue is my mum.
The internet had a lot of thoughts in response.
psychotic_cat wrote:
NTA. Eating, self-care and movies in a hotel sounds chill and I don’t blame you.
OP responded:
Yes. This year hotel has a 24/7 gym. I will probably go to have a workout.
LunaXO167 wrote:
NTA at all. Your mom crossed a line last year and never apologized. You don’t owe her or anyone else spending New Year’s with people who make you feel crappy. You work hard, you’re independent, and you’re allowed to have your peace. Honestly sounds like the best decision for your mental health.
Select_Asparagus2659 wrote:
For different reasons, I'm also spending Christmas and New Year's eve alone since past year. Past 31st I stayed in a hotel at the centre of a small city and went for a nice walk watching Christmas decorations and strangers celebrating. This time I plan to stay in bed with a nice seafood dish, a can of Coke and chocolates. Who knows, maybe we meet here in any sub. Have a happy 2025 stranger :)
Most-Brick-660 wrote:
You’re NTA for choosing to spend New Year's Eve alone if that’s what makes you feel better, especially given the emotional context with your mother. It sounds like her comment last year really hurt you, and it's understandable that you would want space to avoid further negativity. Taking care of your mental health is important, and sometimes that means setting boundaries, even with family.
Your decision to spend time alone in a hotel, doing things that bring you peace, isn't reckless at all, it's an act of self-care. You also worked hard for your money, so you have every right to spend it as you see fit. While your family may be disappointed or not understand, your well-being should come first.
JollyForce9237 wrote:
NTA.
But you cousin sure is looking to get fired, sharing intel on who is staying at the hotel could very easily get her fired.
OP responded:
She is 19, it's her first job, she wanted to brag a bit and since then she had apologized to me. She didn't think it would create such a drama for my parents (mostly my mother). I think she learned her lesson.
mittenknittin responded:
She just found out WHY privacy policies exist and why people get fired for violating them. She’s fortunate she did it to someone in family who’s willing to forgive rather than a sue-happy stranger whose affair got exposed.