'AITA for demanding my house guest pay me for what she drank while I was out?' UPDATED

Hosting overnight guests usually involves a bit of sharing -- your space, your towels, and sometimes even your food. But that sharing doesn't mean it's a free-for-all for your guest.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for demanding her guest pay her back for the gin she drank. She wrote:

"AITA for demanding my house guest pay me for what she drank?"

I (29F) was asked by a friend (27F) that I went to university with if she could stay a few days at my place on her vacation. She came a couple days ago and also brought her sister (31F) which was fine with me. Her sister declined going out for dinner with us and wanted to stay in. That was fine and we left and we went to eat.

Well turns out her sister is a recovering alc*holic and wasn’t coping that well being in a different place. We come home a few hours later and I found out she got drunk and raided my liquor cabinet for what she could find. She ended up drinking my very expensive gin ($300 USD) that was given to me by my dad. It’s not something I ever would have offered guests.

When she woke up the next morning I told her that she needed to pay me for it. I didn’t even open it. She started freaking out saying it was a mistake and that she couldn’t afford the rest of her trip if that’s what it really costs. I told her that she technically stole it from me and that she needed to pay me for it.

My friend from uni says that her sister is struggling in recovery but they really can’t afford to compensate me without it ruining their trip. I asked them to leave and they were both very upset about it. While I do understand that it was a moment of weakness, I still think she needs to pay me for it. If she broke it by accident that would be a different story. AITA for wanting her to give me the money for it?

People had a lot to say in response.

Oscman7 wrote:

Info: Did she take a few glasses or did she drink a whole bottle of gin?

The friend's sister is definitely an AH in this situation. Addiction is a cruel monster but it doesn't excuse sh**ty behavior. However, the real AH here is OP's friend. Why would she leave a recovering alcoholic on her own like that? Did she not notice the distress her sister was in from being in a new place? OP's friend would make the worst AA sponsor. She's also a s**tty sister. NTA.

OP responded:

It was empty when we came back. It was a large size but she spilt what she didn’t drink I’m assuming

wisewoman707 wrote:

NTA. Did your friend warn you about the drama she was bringing to your doorstep with a struggling "recovering" alcoh*lic? Not your problem that paying for the alc*hol that she stole is expensive, or that paying for it (in other words, being responsible for her actions) would "ruin" their trip.

Good for you for kicking them out and not tolerating this outrageous behavior. She needs to be held accountable for her choices, especially if she ever hopes to recover.

OP responded:

No she didn’t mention it at all. It was high up in my kitchen with my spices. It wasn’t in view.

Reevadare1990 wrote:

NTA. This woman stayed behind and as soon as you were gone WENT LOOKING FOR ALC*HOL to fuel her bender. She planned this. If the trip is stressing her out so much she drank most of a LARGE bottle of gin on her own, and got so drunk she spilled the rest, the trip NEEDS to be over. (And your friend is the AH too for not at least warning you about this)

Ok_Sleep8579 wrote:

NTA. They're prioritizing "not ruining their trip" over "paying back the expensive item I stole from a generous host."

Not cool. She needs to suck it up, ruin her trip, and account for her actions. "Accountability" is a huge part of addiction recovery.

Additional_Jaguar_76 wrote:

NTA. Alcoholism is a nasty disease but there has to be consequences. The consequence her actions on this trip, unfortunately need to result in it getting cut short, because she drank a $300 bottle of liquor that wasn’t hers. She’d have paid for it if it were at a bar. You didn’t offer it to her. It wasn’t opened. It was a gift. And it’s gone because of her. You’re NTA.

In one comment, OP clarified precisely which expensive gin was stolen from her.

It’s called anty Cambridge gin!

The next day, OP shared an update.

Edit: Thanks everyone for making me not seem like a monster. I requested the money and her sister sent me an e transfer. We weren’t super close but more met up from time to time. It wasn’t a friendship that I’m necessarily devastated over this happening.

The comments kept rolling in.

Koomaster wrote:

OP says the gin was hidden away high in her kitchen with her spices. Which means this person went looking for alcohol. Maybe next time the trip should be to a recovery center. Searching out and drinking an entire bottle of gin from a strangers house is the biggest warning that they need help soon!

Captain_Borque wrote:

"I can't afford to replace the item I stole!"

"Cool. calls police."

peter095837 wrote:

This whole situation really could have been dealt easily but sister really decided to make it the hard way. Also why would you love someone who is a recovering alcoholic alone where there is booze there? That's just irresponsible.

Seagoon_Memoirs wrote:

She drank a whole bottle of gin in one evening?

Why she not dead?

gringledoom wrote:

Heavy drinkers can consume a truly shocking amount of alcohol in one go. The top 10% averages 74 drinks a week.

Frustration aside, it sounds like this ultimately resolved.