'AITA for feeding my daughter's soft ball team 'junk' at our sleepover?'
"AITA for feeding my daughter's soft ball team 'junk' at our sleepover?"
I 35f have 3 children all enrolled in extra curricular’s. My oldest daughter who’s 13, plays in softball and has for years. I live in a smaller town, so I know the other girls parents and we are well aquatinted I even consider a few of them friends. We take turns having big huge sleepovers for the girls at our homes and this weekend it was my daughters weekend.
We had never discussed what we should and should not feed the girls, just allergies and such so I didn’t think there were “rules.” My other child is also in sports and I have never had complains about this either and I’ve hosted these sleepovers before, just not this season yet and there are a few mothers newer parents to the team.
Anyway, I had bought the girls pizza and breadsticks, and had pink or regular lemonade offered for dinner. I also had a lot of snacks, mostly chips, but I did bake some brownies as well. The next morning I had just got a lot of Dunkin’ Donuts.
It’s 15 girls I’m feeding so I figured it was easiest because these type of things feed alot of children. My children don’t normally eat like this either, I just was excited for the first sleepover at our house this season.
Anyway, I’ve gotten some complains from the newer moms to have joined the group in our group chat, and have said that I shouldn’t be loading their children up on sugar and junk food and how their kids don’t eat like that at home.
I replied back that it was a sleepover it was suppose to be a fun event for the girls so what was the big deal? That offended them; they accused me of undermining their parenting and said there daughters wouldn’t be coming to my daughters sleepovers anymore unless I decided to feed them better food.
This caused an argument because like I said no one has ever mentioned what they feed the children at these sleepovers, and there was never any “rules.” I thought it was fair game. I then again said it was just fun food, it was a slumber party, and a few of the other parents agreed with me.
A few hours later that mother replied in the gc that her daughter would no longer be coming to any events at my home since I couldn’t see that fun food was just a different word for junk. Then called me a lousy mother for feeding children up with that mess, then left the group chat. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s post:
Has she hosted yet? What do the other Mom's that have been around the block serve when it's their turn?
Last_Gene9706 (OP)
I’ve heard pizza before as well, and I know one of the dads grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. I’m not sure about the rest. No she hasn’t hosted yet.
When she does host don't send your daughter. And I doubt some other girls will attend either. She will spend that time telling your daughter things that could lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.
I’m gonna go with NTA here. These moms never communicated any dietary restrictions to you and as a parent that’s their responsibility if they’re letting someone else look after their child for a night. And honestly you’re correct, sleepovers ARE supposed to be fun. These are supposed to be bonding activities for the team and stuff like this is supposed to be a treat.
Also you’re feeding fifteen children, I don’t blame you for taking the easy option of pizza and chips. Maybe you shouldn’t have argued with them and simply said you’d provide different options in the future for the girls but what’s done is done now.
NTA. This seems like typical food for a softball party, especially when it’s one household feeding the entire team. If I sent my kid to a sleepover like this, this is exactly how I’d expect them to eat. It’s one night, it’s not going to do harm.
Take this from a parent who obsesses over my kids getting enough fruit and veggies! Sometimes, eating “healthy” just isn’t realistic given the situation. Kuddos to you for being a nice mom by letting all these teenagers into your home and getting them all food.
Right like is she supposed to spend hours in the kitchen cooking for that many kids? Pizza is classic for a softball party. Maybe she could’ve had a veggie tray but let’s be real the kids won’t be reaching for that. Let them have some unhealthy food sometimes, to me that’s a healthy mindset about food. It’s good to have balance!
NTA If the parents who are complaining about it actually cared as much as they are portraying, they would’ve said before the sleepover what their kid should/shouldn’t have. If it really did bother her and she genuinely wanted to get across to you to stop feeding their child that stuff she could have had a private conversation requesting politely to stop.
Then if you disagreed or there was no compromise she could decide to let her child stay or go. The way about this especially the ending of her calling you a lousy mother shows her immaturity and her inability’s to have a civil conversation. However the entire conversation that took place could have definitely been handled better from both sides.
NTA. Sleepovers are meant for junk food. It’s a treat and not something that happens every night. I do think that after a night of junk food a good balanced breakfast is needed.
Scrambled eggs are super easy to whip up for a crowd, a pre cut fruit tray, yogurt along with the donuts. But that’s just me and what I would serve. I wouldn’t care if my daughter went to a sleepover and only ate junk once in a while.