'AITA for asking a stranger why they were touching me?' 'The whole mood shifted.'

"AITA for asking a stranger why they were touching me?"

So, I was at a bar with my friends, having a conversation, when I suddenly felt two hands grab my shoulders. The person whispered in my ear something along the lines of, “Stay youthful, and you’ll always feel free,” or something random like that. I turned around and realized it was a complete stranger around his 30s (I'm in my 20s).

My first reaction was to say, “Okay, but why are you grabbing me like that?” His response was, “I don’t know, I just saw you looking at me earlier.” I explained, “I turned around once, because we were talking about something private, and I wanted to check if anyone was listening.” He then said, “Oh, maybe I mistook you for someone else.”

At that point, I felt really uncomfortable. The whole mood shifted for me, and my friend sitting next to me noticed and asked if I was okay. She later said, “Maybe you could have been more gentle in how you responded.” But I told her I felt violated—he invaded my personal space and crossed a boundary.

I also explained that when someone does something inappropriate, I trust my instincts and respond firmly. I believe that if you call people out in a way that humbles them, they’re less likely to do the same thing to someone else. Also, if he just said hello and introduced himself, I would have reacted very differently.

Even though I stood up for myself, I felt awkward and weird afterward. I couldn’t shake the discomfort, and I really just wanted to leave. Now I’m questioning if I was too aggressive or if there’s a better way to handle situations like this. Was I wrong for how I reacted?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Brynne42 said:

Don’t be polite to men who creep you out. It’s not your job to comfort them, don’t be polite to men who creep you out. NTA.

BerserkerRed said:

NTA. There was 0 reason for him to touch you. If it felt off it’s because it was. Always trust your instincts. Dude was being super creepy. I’m a guy and that interaction is weird as hell. From the touching to the creepy statement. F that guy.

lordmwahaha said:

NTA. More people should respond this way. Embarrass people who think it’s okay to touch strangers, and they’ll learn not to do it.

TemptingPenguin369 said:

NTA. His behavior was creepy. Your reaction was appropriate.

TopTransportation695 said:

NTA - The creep had two excuses for an inappropriate advance. Sure sign of insincerity. As for your friend is she naive? You did nothing wrong and were well within your rights to be as abrasive as you wanted with that presumptuous man.

embopbopbopdoowop said:

NTA. You don’t owe anyone gentleness, let alone someone who places their hands on you uninvited.