'AITA for 'causing a scene' at my MIL's wedding after I found out my husband was there?'
"AITA for 'causing a scene' at my MIL's wedding after I found out my husband was there?"
My husband's mom and I f26 don't get along at all. it was fine at first til our disagreements started to get bigger. our last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband. MIL told me to stay out of it and my husband said he was fine with it. She ended up putting some distance between us and stop inviting me to events.
FINE but I told my husband I expect him to stay home with me when I'm uninvited. She got married days ago, It goes without saying that I was not invited. I asked my husband to promise to stay home with me and not go. he got defensive and said that this was his mom's wedding and there was no reason for him not to attend.
I refused to speak to him after a big argument about it and he eventually said that he'd stay home with me. However, at the day of the wedding he said he was going to "hang out with some friends". I was skeptical so I called his friends and they said they didn't see him. I knew where he was. I felt betrayed and I wanted to catch him red handed so I got dressed and went to his mom's wedding.
He was actually there. I was fuming when I saw him. He saw me and started following me as I was turning and making my way out. I yelled at him calling him a liar and manipulator. he tried to get me to quiet down since people were staring but I lost it on him and said that he betrayed the promise he made me and that his word meant shit to me.
He got defensive saying he really wanted to be there for his mom and at the same time couldn't handle me being upset with him and giving him silence so he hid it from me. I told him to get out of my face and went home. He came back looking pissed saying I made a scene at his mom's wedding and humiliated him when I started yelling at him.
I refused to argue but his family came at me calling me horrible and controlling and saying that my husband is a "saint" for still enduring the "shitty" behavior of mine. I blocked his sister who was constantly arguing saying my husband has free will and should be able to decide where to go and be without my consent this made him get more pissed. We haven't talked since then.
Here's what top commenters had to say:
[deleted] said:
Wow. Your MIL sure sounds crazy. First, she decides ... on her own, without any input from you whatsoever ... how she wants to divvy up her estate. Although both her heirs are fine with it, she didn't take YOUR opinions into account. Next, she may have gotten upset when you started yelling at your husband at her wedding. Yeah. Your MIL is a whackjob. Your MIL. YTA.
Aquarius052 said:
YTA. Wow..... Control freak much? This is his mother, and you have no right to try to tell your husband he can't have anything to do with her or go to her wedding bc your eggshell feelings are hurt.
You also had no right but in your nose and her business with her house if your husband has a problem with it your husband needs to be a big boy and handle it himself. You are controlling and you're going to end up losing your marriage if you don't get a grip on reality woman
Graves_Digger said:
YTA. First off, the initial disagreement had eff all to do with you. You don't get a say in what your MIL does with her money. Second of all, that's his mom. You have no right to tell your husband he can't go to her wedding. Someone is manipulative in this relationship, and it isn't him.
The fact that you felt the need to essentially ruin this woman's wedding is just the cherry on top of the AH sundae here. You sound like a nightmare.
MyAskRedditAcct said:
YTA. "last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband. MIL told me to stay out of it and my husband said he was fine with it." Why are you even butting in?
Seems like she has valid reasons to dislike you and, while it would have been a classier move to allow you as a plus one, of course he wants to go to his mom's wedding. You put him in an unreasonable position.
demonicexgf said:
YTA. You don't get to tell your husband what he should get offended about. You're actively isolating your husband from his family, which is a manipulative thing to do. Your husband seems to have to lie to you to do things a normal person would just do, implying that you do in fact, cause a scene and raise hell when things don't go your way.