'AITA for divorcing my wife after a car crash?' 'This severe incident follows a troubling pattern.'
"AITA for divorcing my wife after a car crash?"
I'm (F33) divorcing my wife (also F33) after her latest car accident (caused by her), which resulted in two people being sent to the hospital and three cars totaled. (I dont know the extent of Injuries, but I know they have retained an attorney). This isn't an isolated incident; her recent driving history includes multiple accidents and traffic violations (one being a 40 in an active school zone) despite repeated discussions and attempts to address her behavior.
In this recent incident, she was driving on a suspended license—a fact she kept from me (second time her license has been suspended in our 7 year-long relationship). Attempting to cut across traffic for a coffee stop, she collided with two other vehicles, causing extensive damage and injuries. This severe incident follows a troubling pattern over the past year: two other accidents, several speeding tickets, a disregard for car maintenance leading to further incidents, and her license being previously suspended.
I've tried my hardest to support her, from teaching her defensive driving techniques to suggesting lifestyle changes aimed at improving her focus and reducing fatigue. Despite these efforts, my wife has not taken my concerns or the safety of others on the road seriously. Our last conversation about the financial and emotional toll her driving has taken on us—pleading with our insurance not to drop us and warning her about the consequences of her actions—ended with her making excuses and deflecting blame.
Her latest reckless act has her facing felony charges, with a realistic possibility of jail time given her driving record despite no substances involved. I've exhausted my resources and emotional energy, trying to rectify the aftermath of her actions of precious incidents. Given the seeming lack of change or acknowledgment of the gravity of her behavior, and despite the complex dynamics at play (her being the main income earner and my own challenges with a rare disability and pursuing my degree)...
I've decided to prioritize my own wellbeing, and I'm actively pursuing a divorce. Her continual negligence and refusal to change, even in the face of severe legal consequences and the risk to human life, have left me with no other choice. This decision comes from a place of exhaustion and the need to protect my future. AITAH for divorcing over her reckless driving and its consequences?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Katana1369 said:
NTA. And do it quickly because those injured people are going to sue both.
elle-elle-tee said:
NTA. Being married to someone who lacks a fundamental regard for the lives of others is a huuuuge red flag. That's straight-up psychopath behavior right there.
TheExaspera said:
NTA. She needs help.
properlysad said:
NTA. She has no regard for herself, others, or you.
Emotional_North_5169 said:
NTA. I think it will be worse in the future because she continues like that, she will end up really hurting someone Its a serious question and I wouldnt stay with someone like her either
DawnShakhar said:
NTA. Your wife is a menace on the road, and she is wearing you down. And - she is in complete denial, refusing to take any responsibility and change her road behavior. I think divorce ASAP is the wise road. Do you want to wait till you are married to a road murderer?