Woman’s love for cucumbers leads to breakup and TSA drama. AITA? UPDATED 5X
"AITA for eating too many cucumbers?"
This is perhaps the most bizarre AITA post I have ever written but I’m honestly so confused. Like I feel like I can’t possibly be TA, but then sometimes people are too blind to see their own flaws so maybe I really am.
For as long as I can remember I’ve had this “quirk” I guess you could call that I never snack on anything other than cucumber. I shouldn’t say never technically since socially I’ll get ice cream or eat a few chips at a party, I’m not a picky eater by any means but my snack of choice has always been cucumbers.
I eat pretty healthily anyways so a lot of fruits and veggies are a part of my diet. Since veggies are lower in calories I have to eat a lot of them to eat enough, so I’ll usually have some sliced cucumber in my purse that I munch on throughout the day and I’ll always have a cucumber in my car that I just eat whole when I’m driving.
I go through several cucumber daily. Although it’s not healthy, I’ve had days where I’ve felt really depressed and overwhelmed and have binge eaten nothing but cucumber. I think I’ve eaten perhaps 35 on very extreme days.
Recently this “quirk” has begun to drive my (22f) bf (33m) of 6 months insane (his words not mine). He says it’s highly inappropriate to carry them everywhere with me. We spent last weekend at his parent’s lake house and I provided my own cucumber to snack on.
One night before bed I was in my room knowing on a cucumber like a savage when his mother walked in. Under normal circumstances I never would eat that around others, I’d slice it up. She was puzzled, but chucked and said “my you do like cucumber.” My boyfriend later told me that I humiliated him with my childish and immature eating habits.
I told him that his mom caught me in a low moment, he was being ridiculous, since he eats a bag of chips everyday and I don’t bat an eye. He told me that chips were a normal snack and whole cucumbers were deranged.
He told me I needed to stop eating cucumbers and that my behavior was becoming a deal breaker for him. I feel really bothered, but I think cucumbers are a weird hill to die and I don’t want to lose my relationship. So AITA?
Edit: I’d just like to add that my boyfriend has never expressed any issue with my cucumber habits before now. The incident in question was because around 8PM I was getting really hungry and I don’t know his family super well so I didn’t want to go rummaging/ask for a snack.
I didn’t want to bother them by asking for a cutting board or something to cut up my cucumber because of well, mild social anxiety. So I shut myself in the guest room and figured I’d just snack on a cucumber quick.
I don’t usually go hide and eat cucumbers haha. But then his mom walked in looking for my bf presumably and was a little surprised but seemed amused and not upset or anything. I honestly didn’t think it’d turn into such a big deal for him.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s initial post:
NTA. Dump your boyfriend and enjoy your cucumbers. (Note: I personally find cucumbers disgusting, and it would still never occur to me to care about this)
I mean it's not usual, but people have quirks and if he's controlling about cucumbers (didn't think that's a sentence I'd write), find a man with bigger concerns in his life.
the boyfriend may be an AH, but this is by no means a quirk or even remotely normal. she DOES have a problem. I'd be concerned about this too, although probably not because my mom saw her eat it.
NTA. “I (22f) and my boyfriend (33m)” was enough for me to be on guard, and the rest of the story confirms it. It’s rich that he called you childish when he’s dating someone so young.
hey cucumber connoisseur, are we talking about slicing cukes, kirby’s, gherkins, english cukes? there’s a big difference between eating 35 gherkins and 35 english cucumbers. that’s almost 41 feet of cucumber on a bad day 8-/
Twenty days later, the OP returned with an update.
I didn’t expect my first post to really get any attention, so I’d like to thank you all for taking the time to read it and give your judgement! To those of you who expressed concern for my cucumber addiction/that I have an ED, I can assure you I am perfectly healthy!
I wouldn’t consider myself addicted, nor do I have an ED at all, I just really enjoy my cucumbers. I can go days without eating them, I don’t need my cucumber fix, it’s just if I’m going to snack I’d prefer to eat a cuke.
I would consider the amount I snack on cucumbers proportional to the amount my bf or any normal person would snack on chips or other junk food. I just occasionally eat more since they’re so low in calories.
Additionally, I have had a few cucumber binges, I am well aware that those are not healthy, just like binging on junk food isn’t healthy. But that’s extremely uncommon for me, and for the most part I eat a well balanced healthy diet! However, I will talk to my doctor about it to ensure that it is not worrying.
As for my boyfriend, we ended up calling it quits. I was pretty hurt at first, but I think perhaps his huge reaction to cucumbers was indeed a red flag for controlling behavior. I think that he was trying to call my bluff, expecting me to give up my cukes for him, so the breakup took him a bit by surprise too.
How it went down was that I told him we needed to have a chat. I told him that it was unacceptable to tell me what I was allowed to eat. I added that if listening to me chow down on cucumbers was what bothered him (as some of you in the comments noted), I would avoid eating them when he was around.
Apparently, the very idea of me eating so many cucumbers was driving him nuts, not the noise. I decided to try and compromise. He’s a pretty heavy drinker and will get drunk pretty often. I know that it’s very bad for his health and I have expressed that concern in the past.
I told him that I’d give up cucumbers if he gave up alcohol. He declined my offer, threw out a few uncreative insults and expletives, and I am now writing this from my mom’s couch with a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart <3.
I’m still unclear on why the cucumbers were such an issue, why I could never eat them again, why me suggesting he give up alcohol was such a big deal, among other things. But I guess I’ll never know now.
Edit:
OMG thank you so much for the awards!! I’m so honored!! And I’m really glad to know those are hugs, I always thought they were judgmental Ewoks.
Edit 2:
I seem to have forgotten to add this as it was a common question on the original post and I’m seeing it in the comments now.
No, I did not eat 35 of those mammoth cucumbers, my eating habits may be odd, but I’m not completely insane. I think on my last cucumber binge (which occurs super rarely and it was quite a while ago) I had maybe 3 or 4 big ones and the rest were the mini cukes.
I do buy a lot of them at the grocery store, but I have a cucumber dealer who hooks me up with huge batches. And for those of you upset at my use of the word “cuke,” here you go! May your lives be enriched :)
Edit 3:
Just for some added clarification for those who think my boyfriend is completely justified in his cucumber hate and that I’m a lunatic, I agree. Sort of.
If he had been bothered by the chewing or concerned about my health, I was ready to talk about it and work something out. I didn’t enter into the discussion for a fight or with the intention of breaking up.
His attempted grasp for control over my food wasn’t even the reason why I broke up with him, but when he started shouting at me and called me a b-word (which he had never done before) I decided to end things.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s update:
Thanks for the update! I didn’t see the original post before now but dang, what a ride. Glad you’re rid of him and his anti-cucumber agenda.
Just gotta say, after just reading your original post and update, I thought, "Hmm, a nice fresh cucumber sounds pretty good right now." Went to my fridge and now typing this while munching on a cold, crisp cuke.
Imagine being dumped by your girl because she'd rather eat cucumbers than be with you.
(I know that's not actually the reason, but that thought had me howling)
Two weeks later, the OP returned with another update.
I like cucumbers. A lot. They’re my absolutely favorite snack food and I always try to keep them on hand. I’ve had a few awkward cucumber related incidents in the past: cucumbers falling out of my purse, my (ex)boyfriend opening my fridge only for those noble cukes to spring forth and attack him, the same (ex)boyfriend banning me from my snack of choice, the list goes on and on.
Although this particular horror happened about three years ago, I think I’ve finally dealt with the trauma enough to recount this nightmare. I think most of us can agree that the TSA came straight from the depths of hell.
There are very few things in life that fill me with rage, but those that do often happen to have meddled with my cucumbers. Usually, as a petite, blonde woman who is often mistaken for a child, profiling is on my side and I can breeze through security checkpoints with no issue.
However, luck apparently runs out when ones pockets are laden with cucumbers. -Who would fill their pockets with cukes right before heading to the airport?- one may ask; clearly only a cucumber fanatic with very poor judgement, and not enough time to cut them up for a lovely spring salad.
Standing in line always makes me anxious, as I’m worried that I’ll annoy the person behind me by taking too long. This is especially true for security checkpoints since you need to remove you electronics, liquids, shoes, and place them all in separate bins before getting scanned. On this particular day,
I had two bags to manage, my laptop, camera, phone, iPad, liquids, and a whole bunch of mini cucumbers to handle. At the time, I was wearing sweatpants in which I had about 3-4 cukes stuffed in each pocket.
Although I had planned on transferring them into my bag before even entering the airport, my nervousness mixed with anxiety must have caused it to slip my mind. Even while standing in line at the TSA I had completely forgotten about those little green babies I harbored in my pockets.
As I stepped through the scanner, no alarms went off so I figured I was in the clear. I was wrong. A very tall, terrifying woman approached me. She pulled me aside. I had been randomly selected for the first time in my 19 years.
Suddenly I remembered the cukes. I looked down and noticed the faint bulge of my pockets. My mouth ran dry. I wanted to say something, to confess, but I was frozen in place. The words wouldn’t come out.
The woman began her pat down, over my arms, down my abdomen, down my leg—. She stopped. I knew I was done for when she asked me if I had anything in my pockets. Upon my affirmation, she asked me to remove the items.
Very slowly I removed cucumber after cucumber and placed them into her outstretched hands. Her face remained like a stone cold statue. She claimed that cucumbers were included with liquids and would need to be placed in a half gallon ziplock bag with my other liquids in the future.
She did not return my cucumbers; but rather, I watched in horror as she deposited them in the trash. My tiny cucumber children, ripped away from me. Cucumbers a liquid?! What nonsense!
I was released from TSA custody and I walked away with a heavy cukeless heart. So to anyone who happens upon this, take heed and don’t leave your vegetables on your person while in the Chicago O’Hare airport, you will be robbed of them.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP’s final update:
Omg are you that lady who ate 35 cucumbers a day, binge eat cucumbers when stress and posted on relationship advice about her bf freaking out about her "addiction" for cucumbers?
I love a good cucumber as much as the next person but....they're just like...in your pocket? With the lint? And dust from whatever else you put in there? With like your phone germs? I could never lol. But to each their own tbh. Sorry they got thrown away, that really sucks. Thanks for sharing lol.
35 cucumbers in a day is nuts. 33 year old men who date 21-22 year olds is generally because women in their age group won’t put up with their dumb nonsense. I’m glad to see this OP wouldn’t either.