'AITA for embarrassing my husband in front of random strangers?'
↵"AITA for embarrassing my husband in front of random strangers?"
TW: assault, child abuse
My husband (31) told me last night that his boss asked him to pick up an extra shift today because of short staffing. He said "I'm really sorry I have to work on Valentine's Day." It did bother me but it is what it is. We don't do anything over the top for Valentine's Day anyways.
We just have movies and cuddle and whatever. But this year is different. We have a 6mo daughter. So it did bother me but I just let it go. His work schedule is 10 am to 8 pm. He has worked at the same company for 9 years and his schedule has never changed and neither has his break time. I want to point this out ahead of time.
So my vehicle was at the shop and it wasn't due to be done until the 16th but he finished up today and gave me a call around 11. So I walked with my daughter to go collect my vehicle (1/4 mile, nothing big). After I grab the vehicle, I go to the gas station, which has a small restaurant inside.
To my surprise, I see my husband's truck. Now, he works 45 minutes in the opposite direction so even if it was his lunch break (which it wasn't), he wouldn't have been able to make it to this restaurant. I go inside and find him sitting at the table with his mom.
Now...this shouldn't be a big issue BUT him and I had just agreed to go no contact with this woman a month ago because she physically slapped my daughter in the face and left a red mark because my daughter (who is again, 6mo) bite down on her arm and she was cutting teeth.
So I walked up to the table and asked him how work was going and he stood up and told me "I'm sorry, I just wanted to have lunch with my mom for Valentine's day." So I said "you want to have lunch with the witch who slapped your infant daughter across your face?
Go ahead and have your lunch but do not come home. Go stay with mommy." There was 2 other couples sitting close by who started shooting daggers at him at his mom and one of them gasped and said "omg" while giving my MIL dirty looks. (Supposedly, I didn't see it but this is what my husband texted me afterwards)
He followed me out to my vehicle as I was walking off and said "it's not like I'm allowing her around our daughter. I shouldn't have even had to lie to you about having lunch with my mother to begin with. All of this is pathetic and then for you to embarrass me in front of the entire restaurant?" So I said "I'd be more embarrassed that you're hanging out with a child abuser but to each their own" and get in my vehicle and leave.
I then went on to the joint bank account and froze it after seeing a $400 purchase from his mothers favorite store (an antique shop, so he clearly brought her shopping as well). I turned it off because more than half of that is my money (I work full time as well and make $9 more an hr than he does).
Anyways, I call my friend because I'm just fuming at this point because he made the agreement to go no contact with this woman and then he ditches me and his daughter on Valentine's Day with a lie about working, just to hang out with her. But my friend says I'm being the overdramatic one and that I should have just left it alone and confronted him in private. AITA?
EDIT:
When she slapped my daughter, I ended up leaving with my baby. She picked a fight with me when I told her to get out and therefore I left instead because she wasn't listening to me or my husband tell her to leave.
HE said he called the cops and they took a statement and later stated that it was word of mouth and they weren't pursuing it. I now have my doubts about him ever calling the cops.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
WhatHappenedMonday said:
So, he lies to you. Both about work and seeing his mother. Then he takes her out for Valentine's Day and buys her an expensive present after she abused your child? Update me when you kick him out.
ThisIsMyCircus40 said:
NTA. I like the part where he buys his mom a $400 gift for Valentine’s Day but you get a movie and cuddles. aren’t you the lucky one. Please tell me that you took pictures of the red mark left on your babies face by that witch. Because I would be calling the police and filing my own report because you know he definitely did not call. In essence, this man is saying, he chooses his mother over his family.
facinationstreet said:
This is more than just "lunch" with his mom. He had to fill the hours between 9 am (leaving home for the 45 min drive to work) and 9 pm (including the 45 min drive home) somehow. So he is continuing to lie to you. NTA. Why would he think he deserves "consideration?"
dncrmom said:
NTA first of all it is Valentine’s Day not Mother’s Day & is completely inappropriate to ditch your wife for your mother. Secondly go open an account only in your name for your paycheck & meet with a lawyer.
redhead9390 said:
NTA. You should have slapped the taste out her mouth for putting her hands on your daughter. Your husband is a lying coward. Why did he specifically pick Valentine’s Day? Even if you don’t really do anything why today?
ViciousVixenxo said:
NTA. Also who tf lays hands on a child? Let alone a 6month old.