'AITA for ending my engagement because of my fiancée's streaming career?'
"AITA for Ending My Engagement Because Of my Fiancée's Streaming Career?"
I've been with my fiancée for 5 incredible years, 4 as a couple, an 1 engaged. But our relationship took a drastic turn when she started streaming last year on Twitch and Kick. It began as a casual hobby, but now she's fully immersed, streaming around 11 hours a day.
Yes, she's successful, pulling in around 5 figures a month, which is impressive, and helps out a lot. However, the cost to our personal life has been high. She's completely SFW in her content, but the invasion of our privacy is overwhelming.
For instance, she once shared our argument about postponing our wedding, and another time discussed my health issues live on stream. Our private moments, like dinners or just relaxing at home, often become backdrops for her streams, because she streams from our bedroom.
Our relationship dynamic has shifted dramatically. Her streaming schedule leaves little room for us, and when she's not streaming, she's either prepping for the next one or engaging with her community on social media.
I've tried discussing boundaries, like keeping certain topics off-limits or having dedicated "us'" time without streaming, but she insists that being open with her audience is a key part of her success. And it very well maybe. I know how powerful parasocial relationships can be.
I understand that her viewers feel like friends to her, but it's come to a point where she consults her chat more than me on personal decisions. I've voiced my discomfort with strangers having such an insight into our lives, but she feels I don't appreciate the effort she's putting into building her career.
My friends are split on this; some think I should be more supportive, considering it's her income source and she's not doing anything inappropriate. My family, on the other hand, sees my side and is concerned about our lack of privacy. I finally decided to call off the engagement because honestly, I feel like I'm living in a reality show without ever having signed up for it. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ConsiderSuccess said:
NTA. If your privacy and dignity is less important than her streaming income then walking away was your only reasonable choice.
TX_Farmer said:
NTA - She's made her life (and yours) a commodity. It is unhealthy to not have a clear distinction between "work" and "home/family." You have a Greek chorus of strangers chiming in on your relationship, health and work. Do you want to be in a relationship with 100,000 strangers? That's not fair to you. You didn't sign up for this or consent to it. Five figures a month comes at a high cost.
Tuga_Lissabon said:
NTA - the fact she's not keeping your own personal stuff private is, for me, the break point.
IamblichusSneezed said:
NTA. The problem isn't that she's a streamer. The problem is that she sucks.
Realistic_Head4279 said:
NTA. Put simply, this has morphed into a life you are not interested in living. Fortunately, you discovered this before marrying. While I am not criticizing either of you for your preferences here, it seems clear that on some very important and personal levels you two do not have the same goals for life going forward.
diatho said:
NTA. Your privacy matters to you and her new career means that you cannot have that anymore. You voiced your concerns, she ignored them. Move on now.