"AITA for ignoring a baby on the train?"
I was on the train yesterday traveling up to university as I had an important exam. I was super stressed out just trying to do my flashcards on my phone. I was sitting at a four-seater (really quiet train) when this woman with a large buggy sits right across from me, effectively shutting me in.
I thought it was weird because she knew I would have no space if she sat there. Obviously, I had practically no space but only had 30 minutes of my journey left so I just smiled at the toddler and kept doing my flashcards.
Here’s where I may be the ahole. The toddler kept moving about on the seats and screaming when I was just trying to focus. I even had my earphones in to try and block the noise so I could study. I, without even thinking about it, let out a sigh. I didn’t even mean it.
The mum looked at me and asked if I was bothering her. I said no, I’m just trying to focus. She then said I was strange for not even entertaining her child for the journey. I didn’t even say hello to him or anything. I could have gave her a break.
I was shocked by this because why am I, a stranger, meant to entertain your child? Just because you sat right next to me and blocked me in on a quiet train? It was so weird of her. I just nodded and went back to what I was doing because I had other things on my mind. AITA?
Here's what people had to say about this one:
Different_Ad_7671 said:
NTA, I’ve a toddler and I could never imagine speaking to someone that way. She’s my responsibility not a strangers???
cutiepuffnao said:
NTA at all. You weren’t rude—you were just trying to study for an exam, which is completely reasonable. The mom was out of line expecting a stranger to entertain her child, especially after choosing to sit right across from you on an otherwise quiet train. A sigh isn’t an offense; it’s a normal reaction to stress and distraction.
Parents don’t get to claim public spaces as their personal childcare assistance zones. You weren’t obligated to interact with her kid, and her comment about you being "strange" was just projecting her own frustration. You handled it maturely by not engaging further. Focus on your exam—that’s way more important than her misplaced expectations...
hatterson said:
NTA. Random strangers are under no obligation to entertain or say hello to toddlers. In fact, some people get really upset if you talk to their kids.
Reasonable-Sale8611 said:
There isn't a social expectation that random people will entertain other people's children on trains, planes, or anywhere else. You could just as easily say that SHE had a social obligation to prevent her noisy child interrupt a student who needed the train journey to study.
Life_Bit_4298 said:
NTA! I am mother, but I never expect anyone to take care of my child or to give up seat for my kid. And even though I'm a mother, I don't care about other people's children. Actually, I don't like strangers' kids. So NO, I'm not gonna play with your kid or take care of them- especially when I have the opportunity to be alone or to go somewhere alone. In your case, I'd change my seat (if the train wasn't crowded).
Tiny_Cauliflower_618 said:
NTA. Next time you have a mum sit down have something unhinged at the ready like "Oh yeah, sorry the psychiatrist said it was better to avoid under 5's if at all possible since they seem to make The Voices worse. Hopefully the new pills will make it better..." Trail off, slightly fixed smile while staring at her left ear if you possibly can.
Or "oh yes, my sister had four under four, but she's in the Other Place now, we don't like to talk about it. My poor nephews." Sniffle. "I SAID, WE DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT IT." If she so much as breathes in your direction. Hopefully you won't encounter more insane parenting, but it's worth being prepared!
kurokomainu said:
NTA I'm betting the woman does this regularly. She targets a person in a seating arrangement like this and has gotten used to it paying off with the other person playing along and "giving her a break" aka babysitting her kid for free.
What people get used to they start to feel entitled to. She's gotten to the point of making comments when her set up doesn't go her way. Just because she is able to get people to go from smiling and saying hello to her baby to them entertaining Bubs for the duration doesn't mean everyone should do this for her...
...even if she has convinced herself that somehow she deserves it and that not doing it automatically is weird. She just happened to run into someone who was busy with the concerns in their own life for once and wasn't able to get them to switch to living their life for her sake while they were seated together. What a shock. She wasn't the main character for once.