'AITA for inheriting a house to stop the family from selling it?'
"AITA for inheriting a house to stop the family from selling it?"
So, I’m at a bit of an impasse and it’s causing so much friction between everyone involved but I genuinely don’t think I’m wrong here. It’s very complicated so I’ll do my best to make it make sense.
I’ve been married to my husband, Tom, for a year, and we’ve been together for 4 years. I’m 26 and he’s 28, if that’s important. We’re in the north east, England. Since I met Tom and was introduced to the family home, I loved it. It’s old and cluttered with memories and decorated very rustic and cosy and warm.
Great Grandad hasn’t changed the decor since his late wife passed and the two of them put in so much work and effort over the years to make it a beautiful home. Every week when Tom is in the office, I’d drive over to his great grandfathers and help him tend to his veggie patches and do some general maintenance on the house with him, and then we’d sit down with some tea and soap catch ups. It’s always very chill and a genuinely enjoyable time.
A few weeks ago he mentioned that he was updating his will and asked if it was okay to have me inherit the house and land. I was beyond shocked but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited.
Before I could ask him why, he said that he wanted to leave it to me because I always make time to "humor an old man." He said I could pay off the inheritance tax without too much bother, and the home wouldn’t be sold.
He said he loves his family but they’d sell it and use the money to pay off the inheritance tax. I’m not sure of how exactly IHT works. He also mentioned other issues such as it being easier to contest if most of his estate was left to 1 blood relative, Tom.) Again, I haven’t the foggiest.
He expressed that he wanted the home to be filled up with kids some day because we would often joke about how many children my husband and I would have. I’d always go ridiculously high but Tom and I realistically agree we want a good few, so 4-5 if we can and are in a position to. I’m an only child and, based on my experiences, I didn’t enjoy being one.
We actually had a very nice talk about how he and his late wife wanted many children but she struggled with fertility and they were lucky to get the one they did. I agreed to his request and was very grateful to him for the thought, on the condition I talk to Tom about it first.
Tom was hesitant because it would be stopping the rest of the family from a fortune but soon agreed because of the sentimentality and wanting to keep the home in the family for his Great Grandparents, knowing the others would surely sell it.
Now to the uneasy part. As you can imagine, if sold on today’s market, the home would be very expensive. The last time it was looked over, it was estimated at around $1.3 million, and that was before my husband and I married. Nowadays, it’ll probably be closer to around $2 million with the ever rising housing costs.
So, for me to get the home, all I would need to pay on it would be the inheritance tax rather than the around $2 million. So, about 600k, if we calculated right which is unlikely. He’s put aside more than half of that so all I’d have to do is pay the remainder.
When other members of the family found out that he had updated his will like this I was enemy No1. Everyone was expecting to sell the house and use the money to pay off the tax, and still have over a million left between them.
The home was supposed to go to Granddad's daughter, my husbands grandmother, but she passed before I came into the picture. The one’s arguing are my husbands aunty and two uncles, and their children. (5 between them).
They’ve called me every name under the sun at this point, including that I’m praying on an old senile man. That’s hilarious to me because all of them have always been the ones to say how clear minded he is for his age. Funny how that changes now. The most hurtful one is that I’m a gold digger and after the family money just because I was raised on a council estate.
On one hand I get what they’re saying. It’s a lot of money to be missing out on. But, I also sort of feel as if it isn’t their money to miss? Like, Granddad has clearly said that he doesn’t want the house sold and he’s making moves to do that? He has a lot of cars etc that will be going to them so it isn’t like they’ll miss out.
I’m not sure. I don’t think I’m being an ahole here because this is what he wants and he’s given good reasoning, but I see how some people would suffer because of it. Also, I would like to point out that no one vying for the sale is short on money so it isn’t as if they’re in dire straits. If that were the case, I would feel worse about it.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Shai7809 said:
NTA - This is Granddad's choice. He looked at his family and realized that the home he loves so much would get sold off, so he chose to leave it to the person he knew would not do that. It is still his home, it is up to him to tell them that. He wouldn't be leaving this to you if he didn't trust you with it.
nennjau said:
Your husband agrees that the house shouldn't be sold. Could Grandad leave the house to him, then, and that way t would still technically be "in the family?"
ScrewyYear said:
NTA it sound like you’re the one who saw your grandfather as a person, not as a future ATM. You’re being rewarded for “humoring an old man”, it sounds like he and you both cherish your relationship.
an0nym0uswr1ter said:
NTA. If he signs the house over now then his family will have a much harder time going after you. You will probably still have to pay the tax, but the family will not have any grounds to protest it.
Dingo-thatate-urbaby said:
NTA. I’d ignore and block as needed. You actually take the time to hang out with him and have a relationship. They don’t. They think they should just get it “because."