Woman leaves house to ‘golden child’ instead of struggling daughter or son with 6 kids. AITA?
"AITA for leaving the house to my ‘golden child’ instead of my son who had 6 kids and is engaged to an 0n!yF**s model, or my pregnant problem daughter with a disabled child?"
clandestinecritique
My (56F) husband (58M) has recently started using a wheelchair, and has since been confined to the first floor of our house. We live in a tall, narrow, 5 storey townhouse that my husband inherited from his grandparents and has been in his family since the late 19th century.
His great-great-grandfather was the original owner when it was first built, and the house means a lot to us. We decided to move to a bungalow and leave our home in the possession of our youngest daughter, a decision that has caused huge outrage from our other children.
My older daughter (29F) has two kids (5M, 2M) with her husband (31M) and is currently 6 months pregnant with her third child. She went to college, got a good job, and had a bright future ahead of her.
Then she spent her money on sports cars, designer clothes, luxury handbags, gambling, and drugs. A few years ago she ended up with six figures in gambling debt and had to go to rehab for her drug addiction, and has been clean since.
She got married young, against our wishes, to a verbally abusive husband (34M) and lost even more money divorcing him. Due to her financial problems, her family now lives with her current husband's parents. Their oldest son also has an expensive mental and physical disability that they spend a lot of money on.
My son (30M) has a total of six children (13F, 11M, 8F, 7F, 4F, 3M). The oldest four are from his previous relationship and used to spend weekends with my son, while the youngest two are from his current fiance (24F).
Last year, my son's ex (29F) died, leaving him full custody of their children. This tragedy was a huge loss for my son and he's fallen into a depressive slump ever since. He lost his job and relies on the income of his fiance, who makes 3k a month as an OnlyFans model, something he is completely fine with.
My husband and I have concluded that our youngest daughter (27F) would be the most reasonable option to leave our home. She is a PhD student studying psychology and recently handed in her thesis, while her husband (28M) is a surgical resident training to be an anesthesiologist.
She recently became pregnant with twins after spending 120k on IVF, and we decided she could use the extra space. My other children think it's unfair that the couple with the highest salary and the fewest children get the house. I explained that it would only make sense that the house goes to the child who's proven herself to be responsible with money.
After hours of being hounded by my children, I snapped and told them it was my house, my rules, and that they should have made better life choices and shouldn't have been so irresponsible with love and money.
I said that their misfortune was their responsibility, and they shouldn’t be rewarded for messing up their lives. My kids will receive equal inheritance when I pass, but I have spent thousands of dollars helping out my oldest children (paying for lawyers, child support, rehab, debts); it's only fair that the daughter who has succeeded without overrelying on her parents gets rewarded. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Maleficent-Hyena-734
NTA. You gave the house to someone who so far has proven to be financially responsible. You want this house to stay in the family, considering how long it has been in it so far. So I understand giving it to your youngest.
That house is valuable to you and I understand wanting to protect it and ensure its future in your family. At the end of the day you are correct, it is your house and unless you promised it to one of the other siblings, then you get final say.
Vegetable-Move-7950
I mean this golden child could just as likely sell it as the other ones.
theworldisonfire8377
This sounds way too familiar to the lady who was retiring to Thailand and was leaving the house to her well-off childless daughter instead of the daughter with 6 kids.
Exotic-Army4006
Nta. I'm the youngest out of 7, I literally got shafted because of how much money and time my parents spent on the older ones. It would have been nice if my parents saw that I existed and needed help too instead of me basically always having to figure things out on my own.
hannahkelli
I don't know about the who to leave the house to issue, but when it comes to the way you talk about your other two children, YTA. Like, honestly, just based on the way you speak about them, it sounds to me like there's a reason why your youngest child is successful while the other two are struggling. Sounds like they probably have some trauma from having been mothered by you. Yikes.