'AITA for lying to my wife's coworkers about where I work to make a joke?'

"AITA for lying to my wife?"

My wife F(28) works in finance and recently we went to her company event where I got to meet her colleagues for the first time. during the event she introduced me to some of her male colleagues. and somehow it ended up with me and 3 guys having small talk, while she left to talk to others. eventually they asked me what I do for work.

I work as a dentist, but I really dislike talking about work outside of work. So I told them it was nothing interesting. And the convo was moving forward. but one of the guys kept on asking and was so curious for god knows why, and jokingly said”are you embarrased cos you work at McDonald’s” he was starting to annoy me.

So I said in a dead serious tone that I do in fact work at McDonald’s and that’s why I didn’t want to talk about it and tried to make it as awkward as possible. I thought it was hilarious, seeing his “oh sorry bro” face while the other two tried not to laugh.

BUT like a week later, I kinda forgot about it, and my wife came home and started yelling at me about why I lied to her colleagues. Apparently rumours spread fast in her workplace and eventually the whole office was judging my wife behind her back until she eventually found out.

I honestly do get why she was pissed, and it was a back and forth for awhile until eventually she said what if she came into the clinic I work at and told everyone she was a pr-stitue. I thought about it and you know I kinda see her point.

But at the same time I feel like she’s just easily embarrassed and was just angry in the moment for getting judged by the office. However, she thinks I was childish and immature and did not need to do that.

The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.

Kasparian wrote:

You could have easily said I’m a dentist but I prefer not discussing business off the clock. There’s no reason to hide your profession, and there’s certainly no reason to lie about it. No matter how douchey her colleagues were being, your behavior reflects on your spouse. You started this by being cagey about a benign question.

Mysterious_Silver381 wrote:

Are you still in your edgy, mystery teenage stage? No one was going to quiz you about being a dentist. You're not a secret agent. YTA for being weird about it in the first place. "I'm a dentist" "oh nice". And if anyone asked anything beyond that, just excuse yourself from the conversation.

neznayuteba wrote:

You didn’t lie to your wife. You made a joke to her coworkers and they took it seriously and decided to GOSSIP about you. I think that is more messed up and you should be upset that she’s hanging around these kind of people. It’s also f--ked up how they judged you for a job, what if you actually did work at Mcdonalds?

There’s nothing wrong with that, and would be kudos to your wife for sticking around regardless. What idiots, I think they were jealous that you have a wife and they don’t. 🤣🤣

liosistaken wrote:

YTA. How difficult is it to just say you’re a dentist and leave it at that? What are they going to ask? How many rootcanals you did? And even if they showed an interest in you and your work (oh the horror!), you can just say you don’t want to talk about your work and be done with it.

Manonaca wrote:

Okay first off, you guys are all judgey. Don’t judge people work at McDonalds or those who engage in SW. and don’t equate the two either. Like seriously? None of you sound like nice people.

Her coworkers sound like the biggest AH for badgering you when you tried to gently decline to answer (though why you did is still kinda a mystery…)spreading office gossip, and judging her for your career. Everyone in this story sounds insufferable. Soft YTA for lying when you could’ve just said “oh really nothing interesting, I’m a Dentist” and then steered the convo in another direction.

FairyCompetent wrote:

YTA. Now she can't take you anywhere because you can't make normal small talk. Now her partner is a liability. You're supposed to be a team, and you can't go one night just being civil for her sake? If you were going to be sh--ty why even go?

Rohini_Rambles wrote:

So you also got your kicks in with pretending you work there.

How did you go through school aand all your training and not found a way to say what you do in a boring way?

You also seem reallllllllly not care about your wife's feelings. You only "got it" when you iangined her saying something that would embarrass you.

Curious, do you generally not care or are not able to empathize with her feelings?

MerryMoose923 wrote:

YTA. If you actually did work at McDonalds, there would be no harm done. If you said you worked at McDonalds, and then admitted you were a dentist but said McDonalds as a joke, again no harm done. As others have said, saying you're a dentist but you prefer not to talk shop outside of work would have been the better course of action here. Instead, you lied and it wound up biting your wife in the a$$.

Yes, her coworkers are judgmental and gossipy, but that doesn't excuse you lying. People who work in finance are often judged on their character by their managers, especially when it comes to honesty and integrity. It sounds like your wife's workplace judges people by the company they keep. You may have damaged your wife's reputation somewhat now that people know you lied.