'AITA for not letting my stepson move back in after he 'pranked' me?'
"AITA for not letting my stepson move back in after he 'pranked' me?"
My wife, “Karen” (45F), and I (48M) have been married for five years. She has a son, “Dylan” (22M), from a previous relationship. Dylan and I have always had a decent relationship—nothing super close, but I treated him like my own and helped support him through college.
Dylan recently graduated and moved back in with us temporarily while he looked for a job. Things were fine for a while, but he started hanging out with some friends who he said were into “pranks.”
A couple of weeks ago, while Karen was out of town visiting her sister, Dylan decided it would be funny to prank me by wrapping all of my work supplies—computer, files, even my chair—in duct tape.
I work from home, and this was the morning of a big presentation I had spent weeks preparing. I lost it. The tape was impossible to remove without ruining some of my files, and I had to scramble to piece together my presentation.
When I confronted Dylan, he laughed and said, “It’s just a joke, chill out.” I told him that this wasn’t funny and that his lack of respect for my work was unacceptable. He brushed me off and acted like I was overreacting.
When Karen got back, I told her what happened and said that I couldn’t live with someone who didn’t respect me or my home. I told Dylan he needed to move out. He packed up and went to stay with a friend, but now Karen is furious with me. She says I’m being too harsh and that Dylan is “just a kid” who made a dumb mistake.
Dylan has since apologized, but I told him he needs to learn that actions have consequences. Karen thinks I’m being petty and putting my pride above family, but I feel like this is about respect. AITA for not letting Dylan move back in?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA - That's not a prank, it's literal vandalism. A prank would have been if he wrapped saran wrap over the door or something... annoying, yes, but not destructive to your files.
And the goo on duct take never comes off furniture, either, unless you use special goo gone stuff that also strips off the finish...Your wife siding with her 22 year old brat on this shows a level of "my baby can do no wrong" that I see as a major red flag...
NTA. He’s 22, not 12. He’s staying at your house for free and he couldn’t even respect your belongings. Your wife need to cut the umbilical cord.
Yeah I love the “oh he’s just a kid” excuse. He literally is over the legal age to be considered an adult and he just finished college. What else has to happen before mother considers him an adult? NTA.
Your wife is an idiot. Her son is a 22 year old adult and not a kid by any stretch of the imagination. He destroyed your belongings and jeopardized your job. This has nothing to do with pride but with her brat of a son being a destructive disrespectful AH. NTA.
Pranks are only pranks if they're funny and do no lasting damage. Duct tape is pretty well known for being strong and sturdy, he's a dumbass if he didn't think it'd do lasting damage or at the very least delay your work by a whole lot, ruining your day as soon as it started.
That's not a prank, that's undermining, sabotaging and bullying you. NTA and your wife needs to have your back and hold her ADULT son responsible for his actions.
You're not the AH. Dylan's prank disrespected your work, and it's reasonable to expect respect. He's 22 and should take responsibility. You're right to hold him accountable.
"Just a joke" is the rallying cry of every bully on the planet. What he did was NOT a prank/joke -- it could have had serious consequences for your job. Dylan IS NOT "just a kid". He's a college graduate and a grown-ass man. What he did is on the level of what a 12 year old would think is funny.
Whether or not the apology was sincere enough for you to consider letting him back is up to you. I have a hard time forgiving cruelty and meanness. My concern with you is that your stupid wife sided with her horrible son. That creates a double problem for you.
Edited to add: I know that duct tape probably left permanent damage to some of your computer equipment and furniture. Tell him he can come back when he is ready to replace/reimburse your for every single item he ruined/damaged. Updateme.
Jesus, if he wrapped it on tinfoil or something easy to remove, that would be one thing. But that glue on duct tape can ruin anything. I would not be ok with him either. If wife wants to go live with him, she can.
Just a kid?
he's 22 FFS.. an adult. It wasn't a prank, it could have been called a prank if he used cling film, but not duct tape, that was straight up arsehole behaviour.
Also, check it wasn't videoed along with your reaction for 'likes' somewhere.
NTA. He's been an adult for four years. He graduated college, he's not a kid. He might act like a child, but he's not one. What if you got fired. How are you going to support you wife, her kid, and yourself.
Even if your wife works, you still could have lost an income. This wasn't just a prank. Both of them should be taking this a lot more serious than they are. Putting your pride above family? In what family is it ok to mess with another family members livelihood?