'AITA for not telling my girlfriend that I have a famous ex? She feels like I was hiding it.'

"AITA for not telling my girlfriend that I have a famous ex?"

For obvious privacy reasons, all names are made up.
I will keep it short. The history: I have an ex-girlfriend "Carla" who is famous today, we met in high school and were a couple the whole time. Her biggest dream was to be accepted to acting school and she did it! Since I was interested in technology, computers and such, I was accepted into school that is far from hers.

We tried the long distance thing, but it did not work out and we ended it on very friendly terms, as we both realized that it will never work! Back to now:
I took my girlfriend "Annabel" to a restaurant to celebrate our 1 year together and suddenly she pointed quietly behind me "Look, this is "Carla"! I love her so much! I wonder if she would mind if I as her autograph?"

I told her that "I don't think she would mind, as she is my ex!" and waved to her.
"Carla" was quite happy to see me and came over, we hugged and she asked if they could join at our table with her mother who was her company, the whole time my girlfriend was speechless and stared with giant eyes. We talked and I told about the autograph she happily provided.

I thought that this evening was great, but as soon as we left I found out that my girlfriend is furious with me: "Why did you hide the fact that you were dating "Carla"???" I told her "To be fair, we never listed our exes to each other and I was basically a teenager back then! I am sorry, but also not sorry!"

In short she told me, that I am an AH for hiding it and this is lie of lie of omission. I don't agree, as I never tried to hide anything, for me she was just another person, she was not even famous yet - yes she is famous today and I am happy for her, but that is not my accomplishment, not something I go around and brag about as I respect her privacy.

Also, it's not like she listed her boyfriends and who does what - I don't care to be honest, history should remain history. What does the internet think? AITA?

The internet had a lot of different thoughts about OP's situation.

MissionHoneyDew2209 wrote:

Your gf is angry you didn't name drop like a jerk??? If you'd told her she'd probably say you were trying to make her jealous. Yikes.

NTA in any way.

BoredofBin wrote:

NTA! This is a pointless hill for your girlfriend to die for.

If the both of you hadn't explicitly mentioned the names of your exes or discussed your past, then her point about you being upfront about 'Clara' is just absurd. Looks like she will now see you as Famous Clara's ex then the person you are today.

SigSauerPower320 wrote:

NTA. She is 100% in the wrong here. First off, you're not required or obligated to share your previous dating history. That's only if you choose to. Second, the only time your past comes into play is when it comes to things that could personally affect her. Such as S-D's/STI's. Short of that, she has no business demanding to know anything.

As for the "lying by omission, that's hilarious. Cause as far as you've said, she never asked if you dated anyone she knows or might know. Not telling someone you dated a famous person when you were a teen isn't lying by omission.

Kuchen_Fanatic wrote:

I find the situation of actually letting your ex and her mother join you at your table where you are celebrating your first aniversery with your girlfriend quite strange. I mean nothing wrong with not talking about your ex, but catching up with her during your aniversery dinner with your current girlfriend just seems so strange...

I mean exchanging greetings and asking her for an autograph for your girlfriend is totally fine, but letting her join your celebratory dinner for your anniversary?!

OP responded:

No, she actually loved to spend time with her, but she is mad that I never told that I dated her. She is not mad that they were at our table.

computer7blue wrote:

I also have a famous ex. I only tell my closest friends…like 3 people. I made the mistake of telling two exes bc it helped explain why I lived overseas for years. They became super insecure until we eventually broke up. I won’t be doing that again unless I know for certain they won’t turn it against me somehow. Like…I wasn’t the famous one.

Why does it even matter? They thought maybe I missed the lifestyle but I do not. Lol. The rock n roll lifestyle is not like the movies, y’all. It’s a bunch of hurry up and wait while you’re bored outta yer gourd. NTA.

BackgroundCarpet1796 wrote:

There's too many things in your favor: it was too long ago, she's not a part of your life, you both haven't shared info on your exes.

NTA. She's feeling insecure about herself upon meeting your ex and she's trying to make that your fault.

robopirateninjasaur wrote:

NTA, but had you two ever discussed Carla before?

OP responded:

No, as we never happened to watch TV together while she was on, it never came up.
Like I wrote, she told she loves her on that date when we saw her.

Nrysis wrote:

NTA. Tell her about a famous ex at the start of a relationship and you will just be seen as namedropping and trying to make yourself sound good. Don't tell her about a famous ex and you are keeping secrets. There is no way to win this argument, however keeping that information quiet until such time as it actually becomes relevant definitely seems the more classy approach.

OP responded:

Exactly - the moment she told that name I told that I actually know her.
If it happened in front of TV on couch, I would've told her then. Randomly bringing up conversation about an ex sound so weird - *walks into a room* "You know "Carla" from "tvshow", she is my ex, totally banged her!" *leaves*

Tyrannosaurus-Shirt wrote:

I'd say it's a mixture of insecurity in comparing herself to your famous ex plus some bewilderment that you would not have bragged about it at some point like I suspect a lot of people would do. Like most people will happily mention famous people that they have met when given a chance.

You are not wrong at all, in fact you were so not wrong it's almost suspicious.. why can't you be insecure and seeking constant validation like the rest of us dammit..lol. Hopefully she chills out about it after a few days.

OP responded:

Well, it would be speical if I met a famous person who is already famous and they decided to be friends with me or even more! But I was her boyfriend before she was famous, while we were both normal teenagers, that does not feel something to brag about...

SproutStag wrote:

NTA. A lot of people are mentioning your gf is jealous or insecure which is possible. She also might be incredibly embarrassed. Felt like she was the only one left out and potentially looked foolish in front of someone she looks up to.

OP responded:

No she was happy that she met her, just mad she did not know about her and me...