'AITA for refusing to pay my friend after my ferret 'attacked' her $900 dress?'
"AITA for refusing to pay my friend after my ferret 'attacked' her $900 dress?"
So I (29F) have a pet ferret Noodles. He’s super friendly and curious, and I let him free roam when I’m home. My friend Kara (28F, fake name) came over last weekend for wine night with a few of our other friends.
She showed up wearing this very extra silk dress, said she had a date after and didn’t have time to change. I told her maybe not the best outfit for a casual girls night but whatever.
Well, at one point she gets up to go to the kitchen and Noodles, being the menace he is, bolts toward her and jumps up. His little claws snag the back of her dress and it tears maybe a 1/2” slit.
She screams, freaks out, and runs into the bathroom sobbing. The whole vibe died instantly. I felt bad but also like… you wore a $900 dress to drink boxed wine on my carpet with a literal ferret present??
Anyway, she sends me a Venmo request later that night for $920. apparently the dress is from some vintage designer and the repair requires specialist fabric sourcing. I declined the request. She sent it again. I declined again.
Now she’s telling everyone I’m irresponsible and letting my rodent ruin people’s things. She even told our group chat that I let Noodles drink wine (he just sniffed the glass one time???). My other friends are split. Some say I should pay at least something, others say Kara’s being dramatic.
Then today… her lawyer dad sent me a letter saying I’m liable for damages. I literally laughed out loud. Like, what judge is gonna look at me and say “yes, pay $900 because your ferret got excited about silk.” So. AITA or is this entire thing completely unhinged?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
YTA- You invited company to your house. All you had to do was put your pet up. If I was your friend I wouldn’t think it would be an issue meeting up at your apartment before a date in a nice dress. You shouldn’t be so callous of the fact that your pet jumped on your invited guest and ruined her dress.
INFO: Did she know that Noodles was a free roaming ferret before she came over? Ie: has she been over before and seen him free roaming?
PotentialWasabi3422 (OP)
Yes! We’ve been friends for a decade now - she’s met Noodles several times and knows the vibe. It wasn’t a surprise that Noodles was free roaming.
ESH. Can she not take it to a tailor and have it repaired? I think it’s crazy that she’s sending you the full price for a replacement. However, if she sent over a reasonable bill for the dress being mended, I think that’d be fair because your pet did damage her property.
ESH. But honestly moreso you than her. Should she have worn an expensive dress to your house? Probably not. And she should be able to take the dress to a tailor and get it fixed - I really don’t see why she can’t do that and why she wants the full price to replace it.
HOWEVER, your pet is your responsibility. Your attitude is “well, he’s just a menace!” as if that absolves you of any responsibility. Maybe it’s true that he’s a menace, but you need to make sure he’s under control when you have company, especially if this kind of behavior is common.
ESH and I say that as a ferret owner. I understand free-roaming. Mine are but I tend to put them away when guests over just for general safety. Guests tend to be less good about not leaving doors open, leaving alcohol accessible and not accidentally hurting ferret as not used to something small and fast by feet. And ferrets can intimidate some guests.
And you noticed she was dressed inappropriately. I'd have offered a cover-up at least. I have to take tights with me to put on in the train toilets sometimes as otherwise not getting out house with them intact. Ferrets and sheer fabrics just don't go well together.
All that said, she decided to take the risk and you did warn her. I'd probably have offered something towards repair but not covering total cost of dress. Invisible mending shouldn't be that expensive. A dress that expensive should carry its own insurance. And once her Dad started threatening legal action, I'd be done trying to compromise.
ESH. Honestly you are coming across as a bit judgemental about her outfit, she might have had no time to change or maybe she was really feeling great in it and wanted to show her friends and get hyped up, like friends usually do, I don't think it's too weird. I get that you see your ferret as friendly and well meaning but any animal jumping up someone has the chance of going wrong.
It's always a risk something might get damaged or someone trips and hurts themselves. I think it's too much for you to pay the whole amount but some seems fair even when she is acting over the top right now. I think you should also look at how you might have been too dismissive making her feel worse, so action - reaction.
YTA. You should not have a pet free roaming in your home when people are over if it is not trained to not jump on people. Yeah it’s weird that your friend would wear a super expensive dress to a casual hang but you’re the irresponsible one here for not having better control of your pet.
$900 is ridiculous for repairing a tear in a dress but since your pet was the one that damaged it then you are responsible for paying to fix it. You at the very least could try and come to a compromise with her on this.