'AITA for telling my GF her Instagram photos are too edited and saying I’ll post the originals?'
"AITA for telling my girlfriend her Instagram photos are too edited and saying I’ll post the originals if she doesn’t take them down?"
My girlfriend (29F) (who has a decent following on Instagram) and I (35M) just got back from a trip to Mexico. We took a ton of photos, most of them on my phone cause I have a better camera, and today she posted a bunch on Instagram but they were all edited using FaceApp or something.
She edited so much, she changed her chin, made her eyes slightly bigger, narrowed her shoulders and waist, and gave herself a perfectly round butt that straight-up does not exist in real life. She also edited my face without asking me.
I compared them to the originals and told her it’s too much, I said editing yourself like that is basically lying, and it makes both of us look fake and she said I was overreacting.
I told her to take them down and she refused, so I told her if she keeps them up then I'll post the originals. She’s pissed now and says I’m being mean and that it's not a big deal. I don’t think I’m TA— I just don’t want to be part of some fake version of ourselves online. AITA?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
DenizenKay wrote:
NTA.ESHThis is weird, and frankly i wouldn't want to be with someone who thinks its acceptable to alter my image on their social media - not to protect me, but to make me more palatable to their followers. F that noise.
That said, threatening to post originals if she doesn't is being heavy handed. If you don't want to be with someone who can't stand themselves and needs to alter every image, then break up with her. don't threaten to out her. Trying to control what she does through threats is f--ed up.
whothis2013 wrote:
NTA I see a lot of irony in this thread with people saying she can post whatever she wants because it’s her social media but he can’t post the originals. Bit hypocritical.
Hot_Control754 wrote:
I think that you’re discovering the type of shallow person she is and you should look for someone else after breaking up with her. Today it’s those pictures but tomorrow, who knows. You don’t need that type of person in your life! If she lies about this what else will she lie about in the future?
Average-Anything-657 wrote:
NTA, but there are a few grains of salt. It's not right for her to upload pictures of you without your consent, full goddamn stop. You weren't ok with it, and you are the rightful owner of control in that situation. You are the one and only necessary authority, and nobody has the right to question it. If they blank you out, then it might become a matter of their consent.
With that, it's not right for you to have control of what she might post of her own self. You get to set your boundaries, and she gets to decide whether she's a violatory monster, or if she's going to leave. Some people just aren't compatible, and it sounds like you're a reasonable person who got entangled with someone who prioritizes social media hearts over reality.
I don't think it's realistic to have faith in this individual's future forsaking of photo-edited realities. And even if you are the kind of person who has faith in that other person? Then cool, good for you, but it's not your problem...you want the changes she has chosen to not yet make. You want that person to be a person she isn't.
So, if she's the kind of person who loves showing off body dysmorphia-edited skin, and you don't like that in a partner, y'all ain't gotta stick together. Earlier rather than later is the time to leave. If there was ever time for a serious talk about the issues, it is now. No matter when you might remember this in the future, no time is better than the present.
ML_1190 wrote:
NTA for calling her out about editing you in the pictures. That is just weird and not ok. I would seriously reconsider the relationship if my partner did that. It feels disrespectful and would make me feel really bad about myself.
But she can represent herself however she wants. If she wants to show a compleatly fake version of herself online, she can, and you don't have a right to out her. Why she would want to do that, I have no idea, still it's her choice to do that. I think almost everyone knows that pictures posted by influencers are photoshoped, to one degree or another.
First-Industry4762 wrote:
NTA, I don't think you "threatening" to post pictures is an AH move in this situation. It's an AH move in the first place to edit your partner's face and upload them for the internet to see without even asking your partner if they're fine with such things (both editing and having pics of yourself uploaded).
If she felt okay to upload those without asking you, I find it hypocritical of her to be upset with you saying you'll upload the originals without her consent, especially after she's unwilling to delete them after you told her you weren't fine with edited pictures of yourself being uploaded.
She should have deleted them and cropped you out of them entirely and reuploaded them. That's what a decent person would have done. But if she's unwilling to, I say post away.
holley2002 wrote:
NTA - if she thinks it’s not a big deal, then she should remove the photos or remove the editing from them…her followers are based on a lie that she is putting out on her insta with the heavily edited photos.
ohdearitsrichardiii wrote:
There's a whole sub dedicated to making fun of people who edit their insta photos to a ridiculous degree. People can tell her photos are fake and are laughing at her. Tell her, for her own dignity's sake, to stop editing her photos.