'AITA for telling my best friend's fiancé their child isn't his right before the wedding?'
"AITA for telling my best friend's fiancé their child isn't his right before the wedding?"
I'm in a really difficult situation and need some unbiased opinions. Here's the story: I've been best friends with Emily (28F) since we were kids. We've been through everything together. Recently, she got engaged to Mark (30M). They have a 2-year-old son, Jack, who Mark believes is his. Emily and Mark’s wedding was just a week away when I found myself in a terrible dilemma.
About a month ago, Emily confided in me after a few too many drinks that Jack isn't actually Mark's son. She had a brief fling with another guy around the time she conceived but decided to keep it a secret. I was shocked but didn't know what to do with this information. It ate at me every day.
Fast forward to the week of the wedding. My conscience wouldn't let me stay silent. I felt that Mark deserved to know the truth before making such a huge commitment. So, I decided to tell him.
I met him privately and told him everything. As expected, he was devastated. He confronted Emily, and things blew up. They called off the wedding and have since separated.
Emily is furious with me. She accused me of lying to sabotage her happiness, claiming I'm secretly in love with Mark and wanted to drive them apart. This couldn't be further from the truth, but now our friendship is in shambles. Some of our mutual friends are also angry at me, saying I should have stayed out of it.
I truly believed I was doing the right thing by being honest with Mark, but now I’m questioning my actions. Did I overstep? Should I have kept Emily's secret and let them get married? AITA for telling my best friend's fiancé that their child isn't his and causing their wedding to be called off?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Strider291 said:
NTA. Thanks for telling him, I wish more people would act like you. You saved him from living a lie and the devastating financial consequences of a divorce, and I hope he thanked you for it.
Lovely_Monicaa said:
NTA. Mark deserved to know the truth about his paternity before making a lifelong commitment. Your conscience was burdened by knowing the truth and withholding it. You felt a moral obligation to be honest, even if it was difficult.
TaylorMade2566 said:
I don't believe in staying out of things in regards to infidelity, abuse or paternity. Your "friend" was a lying, manipulative beast and what she was doing was evil. You don't lie to the person you're supposed to love the most and then blame someone else for letting that person know about your lies
Obviously it was eating at her if she told you about it, she just thought wrong that you would be loyal to her and not be decent. If anyone takes her side, cut them out of your life just like I hope you have done to Emily and NTA.
AmbitiousHabit2636 said:
NTA!! You may have lost a friend but you saved someone from living a lie! Who knows, fast forward 16 years and the truth comes out he would have been hurt even worse. Possibly doing something to himself.
Your friend definitely has narcissistic tendencies! Having a fling on her fiancé and getting pregnant with said flings child but blames you when the truth comes out. She’s definitely not a good person nor a true friend to you.
amandarae1023 said:
NTA. That man was going to enter in to a major commitment with someone who lied to him about something massive. Your friend isn’t a good person, and she proved it further by trying to flip it back on you.
I think some part of you had to know that you and Emily would not be able to continue a friendship after you told Mark, and that your mutual friends would be divided.
It’s a natural thing in these situations for people to have options and pick sides. It’s just what happens. In my opinion, it wasn’t wrong to tell him. You just have to prepare for the ramifications of a decision like that.
Shanny0628 said:
NTA. But how does she know for sure Mark isn’t the father? Did she do a DNA test?