'AITA for telling my husband his request for a 'dad-cation' is completely selfish?'
"AITA for telling my husband his request for a 'dad-cation' is completely selfish? 🤰😡👶✈️"
So, I (21F) am currently 7 months pregnant with our first baby, and my husband (32M) has been super supportive throughout the pregnancy. He’s attended every appointment, helps out around the house more, and I really appreciate him for that. HOWEVER, a few days ago, he dropped this insane idea on me, and I’m still reeling.
He says he wants to go on a “dad-cation” after the baby is born… basically a vacation for just him. He wants to go somewhere with his friends to “unwind” after the stress of pregnancy and getting ready for the baby. He actually had the audacity to tell me that since I’ll get time off for maternity leave, he should get time off too, “just to relax.” 😳
I was honestly shocked. I told him that he’s not the one pushing out a baby, and I’m the one who’ll be physically recovering, breastfeeding, and doing the bulk of the baby care in those early weeks. He just brushed it off, saying he’d help when he got back, but “a few days away” wouldn’t hurt. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I straight up told him that this “dad-cation” idea was completely selfish and unrealistic. He’s a grown man and should understand that the baby will need both of us, especially in those first few weeks. He got defensive and said I was “overreacting” and that he deserves a break too since he’s been “so supportive” during my pregnancy.
Now he’s sulking and barely talking to me, saying I don’t appreciate him or the sacrifices he’s made for me during this time. I feel like I’m losing my mind here. I’ve been dealing with all the physical and emotional ups and downs of pregnancy, and he’s acting like HE needs a reward for it??
Am I missing something? I’m starting to feel guilty because he has been great, but asking for a vacation right after our baby is born just feels so wrong. So, AITA for telling him he’s being selfish and that a "dad-cation" is not happening?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Welcome to single motherhood.
Yep, she's in for a wild ride. He wants a cookie for doing what should be normal and then he wants to party. He has no plans to be a partner, father, or even decent human being.
I get why 30-something guys go after college-age women. It’s frustrating when the college-age women fall for it.
You don’t NEED him to come to every appointment, give me a break!!! You NEED him when you’re recovering from birth!! Not to be a downer, but what if you have complications. I see many post about dads feeling like they DESERVE something because they helped out with THEIR pregnant partner. It takes two to tango, so face the music.
Sounds like she already has a kid too...
Studies have shown that men have to actually take care of their babies in order to bond with them. Him wanting to be away from his own child during critical bonding moments is so irresponsible and can be so damaging to his relationship with his child. Does he really think a vacation is more important than that??