'AITA for telling my husband's family they aren't allowed around my newborn anymore?'
"AITA for telling my husband's family they aren't allowed around my newborn anymore?"
I (30f) have a 6 week old baby and just told my husband's entire family that they are not allowed around her at all until she's 6-12 months. I made this decision without my husband and I don't feel I'm wrong at all and I refuse to back peddle from my decision regardless of how it makes him feel.
Long story short, both my MIL and my SIL came to see the baby last week and a few days following this, the baby is sick. Super congested, fussy, puking, etc. I bring her to her doctors, she's fine but has the upper respiratory infection. Doctors tell me to continue to breast feed on demand and they gave her an RSV vaccination.
Well, my husband called his mom when we were leaving the doctor's and he had her on speaker because his phone is busted and only works that way. He gives her the run down on what's going on with the baby and that's when she basically tells us that not only was she exposed to the flu by one of her clients but apparently SILs husband had COVID the week prior to her coming to see the baby.
Neither of them told us this when making the decision to come meet our daughter. In fact, I specifically asked them if either of them were sick/around anyone who was and they said no.
So they lied to me about it and continued their facade while at my home because my husband's other sister called while MIL and SIL were at my home and I told her she couldn't come over because her daughter had the flu and I wasn't chancing it.
MIL and SIL heard me say this on the phone and still made out like they hadnt been exposed to anything. Needless to say I confronted them both via phone and I was met with a "you need to build babies immune system, blah blah, it's not a big deal, she will be fine" etc etc.
So I told them that neither of them were welcome here or around my daughter until she was 6-12 months old, if then, because they are selfish.
My husband is absolutely pissed right now. He says I'm going to isolate him and make him depressed (he has a history of depression) and that he needs his family (big family man) and that I'm selfish to do this to him right before their big family holiday celebrations (thanksgiving and Christmas).
I basically told him I didn't care. Our daughter not becoming sick is my top priority and his family doesn't give a f about that so they aren't going to be around her. My friends also say I'm wrong because this should be my husband's decision too.
Here's what the top commenters had to say about this:
5nl007 said:
NTA. RSV is no joke for infant and you need to protect the baby’s health. OP husband can visit his family anytime by himself.
Vandreeson said:
NTA. You don't build a baby's immune system by exposing them to things they aren't vaccinated for. Your baby's health and safety is the priority, not anyone's feelings. I don't see how your husband can't or won't see that.
Fluffy-Scheme7704 said:
NTA. Baby’s health above anything.
Fragrant-Hyena9522 said:
NTA. To your husband: His daughter is also his family. It is his responsibility to keep her safe.
Kunning-Druger said:
NTA. The best way to help create a robust immune system is not to continually make a baby sick. Rather, it is to vaccinate, introduce healthy habits, and allow the kid to explore their environment without being a germaphobe.
Mean-Vegetable-4521 said:
NTA. Strong, stronnnnngggg NTA. Will your husband not be depressed if the baby dies from Covid? It's not that hard to say "I'm feeling under the weather. I would love to see you but want to make completely sure whatever bug I have is cleared before coming over." And they should be wearing masks 24/7 around her and washing their hands repeatedly.
Your friends are incorrect. Not that you are wrong. You are not wrong. But your husband should have made the RIGHT decision. He didn't. So you took over. NTA.