'AITA for uninviting my parents to Christmas dinner?'
"AITA for uninviting my parents to Christmas dinner?"
So my husband is cooking a huge dinner for Christmas. He's a great cook and this was supposed to be a gift from him to them. He's worked on prep for a week and we've spent a lot of money on this. I've deep cleaned our home and decorated it, a lot of work went in to our hosting them here tonight. I just uninvited them, I've mixed feelings about this.
About a week ago my mom tried to rearrange the date, the dinner, the food, etc. Basically behaving like a person being forced to do something they don't want to do. The menu includes their favorites.
We offered adaptations of foods, times, location, etc.. We tried to make it something nice for them. My dad was looking forward to it, mom wasn't no matter how we offered to tweak it.
Last night my mom asked if she could bring her dog and I said no. Her poodle is the love of her life, I get it. The last time it was here it peed everywhere. It even destroyed one of our dog beds. I don't want to deal with it in my home.
I got a snide text last night from my mom. One line was that they would come even if their dog wasn't welcome. She doesn't want to be away from her dog on Christmas. I replied that I was looking forward to having them over. It was a reactionary response as I didn't really know how to reply.
This morning I reread the text, how rude the tone was, and that from the wording how much my mom didn't want to come. I showed my husband the text. We decided to have a quiet dinner alone. We're going to make "to go" plates for my parents and bring it to them. My dad will greatly appreciate it. My mom is complaining we canceled.
I literally feel like my mom just choose a poodle over us. They would be here an hour here. One freaking hour. I guess I could have watched it that long but didn't want to. So AITA for canceling day of and choosing a peaceful dinner?
Let's see what readers thought:
pla10 writes:
NTA. Your house, your rules. As the host you have invited them at the predetermined time and attempted to welcome them with their preferences. They can either attend under those conditions or not attend.
qualt writes:
Has your mother always been like this? Does she normally throw an attitude whenever you try to please her as you were trying to do this time? Because if she is, you are totally NTA.
People do sometimes get very attached to their dogs, but usually can handle being apart from them for a few hours. It is very understandable that you don't want her dog in your home after experiencing his poor behavior there before.
If this is something new to her, it's indicative that there is some kind of mental issue going on with her and that she might need a medical checkup to be sure she isn't having some kind of mental problem that wasn't present before.
Either way, her attitude would have poisoned the entire dinner you and your husband planned for your parents, and you are right to have cancelled. It's unfortunate for your father, but appears to be the only thing you could do in the face of her attitude.
Taking the meal to them is a very nice gesture and I hope your mother accepts it in the way you mean it; it sounds like your father will, at any rate.
I hope you have a nice quiet dinner at home with your husband, and a very nice holiday overall.
corna12 writes:
NTA. There is nothing that would get me to allow a dog in my home who has already peed all over it. Your mom is unreasonable and would have been unhappy no matter what you did so you are wise to preserve your own peace.