I (F17) was playing around on my phone the other day, and found colour filters in settings. I thought it was super cool, and played around with it, experimenting to see which one I liked the best.
I ended up going with the blue/yellow colour blind filter, as I thought the aesthetic palette was really nice. I'm not colourblind, but I didn't see the harm in it. I showed this to my friends, and most of them just nodded or said "Oh, that's cool."
However, my boyfriend, Adrien, (M17) took offence. He told me that using colour filters on my phone when I wasn't actually colourblind was really rude and dismissive of people who actually need it for colourblindness, and that I was essentially invalidating their disability by using it. Adrien insisted that I take it down, and that he wouldn't allow me to keep it on.
I was absolutely taken aback, and told him that was ridiculous since it was my phone and I just used the filter and never pretended to be colourblind or anything. Adrien snapped at me, telling me that I was stupid and out of touch, and that I had no idea what I was doing.
I then told Adrien that he was being incredibly rude and controlling, and that what I do with my phone colour settings is none of his business. He has refused to talk to me ever since, and I'm so confused why we're having an argument about colour filters. Am I in the wrong for using a colour filter meant for disabled people?
Alice-via-Wonderland wrote:
NTA.
It's your phone, do what you like with it, it's none of his business.
Using an accessibility setting isn't rude or dismissive of those who need to use them. If anything, the more people that use them, the more likely companies are to add more accessibility options to more products, so win win.
(It's not like there's only one colourblind filter available in the whole wide world and has to be shared by all the mobile phones and you're hogging it LOL)
No partner has the right to tell you what you're 'allowed' to do.
Honestly, this isn't a big deal, but his reaction is. I would seriously consider his behaviour as a red flag if I were you and think carefully about whether having a partner like this is healthy...because if he reacts like this over something so trivial, I wouldn't want to see how he behaves over something that's a bigger deal.
OldPresentation3437 wrote:
This is weaponizing political correctness. There is nothing wrong with using a filter that happens to look aesthetically pleasing, even if it's also of benefit to colorblind people. If you want to, you could turn around and tell him that telling a woman you won't "let" her do something is s-xist and also un-PC.
But that would be immature (though satisfying). You're much better off saying, "Based on how you felt you had the right to control my actions, I realized this relationship isn't right for me," and find someone a little more mature.
ClassicTrue9276 wrote:
Good news: You are 17 and have little investment in this guy.
Bad news: You need to yeet this guy. Why? Because your using a filter meant for the colorblind doesn't hurt them at all, and could even encourage the production of such things. Adrien has no right to "allow" you to do anything, now or in the future.
AcuteDeath2023 wrote:
I'm a colorblind person. I couldn't care less what filters you use on your phone. You're not pretending to be colorblind, you're not pretending to know what it's like to be colorblind. Your colorblind filter has exactly zero impact on the lives or situations of any colorblind person. You are NOT being dismissive, or rude.
Your bf though? He's an a--. He wouldn't "allow" you to keep it? What the actual heck? Did someone die & make him God, and I didn't notice? Sincerest apologies lord (/s). Red flag forest happening there. Either try to find a middle ground with the bf or get rid, you do you. Use the filter if you want. This colorblind person has no issue. NTA.
Caitie_Lou52 wrote:
NTA. Using the filter on your phone doesn't stop someone else from being able to use the filter lmfao. Plus you could argue that more people using the filters incentivizes tech companies to make sure they are implemented in more devices in the future.
Independent_Push_159 wrote:
Your boyfriend's a dick. Also, colour filters can help people who aren't colourblind focus on words etc differently, for example dyslexia/dyspraxia. And even if that's none of your issues, you do it your way. And if that's without Adrien, so be it.
Emotional-Ebb8321 wrote:
This reminds me of daytime TV adverts for various kitchen appliances that are designed to make some task or other easier, but they look like they do a job that doesn't help. Such as a stand to hold a cucumber while you chop it. The adverts always show able-bodied people using them, and you sometimes wonder why they exist. Until you remember disabled people exist.
You aren't the target audience. BUT... if an able-bodied person finds it useful and buys one, that helps manufacturers justify creating them in the first place, even if they aren't the target audience. Similarly, if you like it and download it and use it, that helps the developer justify the time invested in creating it, even though you aren't the target audience.
You aren't taking anything away from disabled people by using or buying such an item, and in fact you are helping companies justify the cost of entering that market, making them more available for disabled people. Another good analogy is gluten free foods. Some people have a genuine need for gluten free foods.
For others, it is the latest fashionable diet fad, and they don't need it. But by buying them, they help manufacturers justify the cost of making them, and by making the market large enough, they in fact make the per-unit cost cheaper for manufacturers, which in an ideal world gets passed on to consumers, making them cheaper for those who need them. NTA.