'AITA for walking out of my sister's baby gender reveal party? She freaked out about having a boy.'
"AITA for walking out of my sister's baby gender reveal party?"
My sister (37f) is expecting her first child and she decided to throw a gender reveal party to find out if they were having a boy or girl. We're not that close. She's a decade older than me (27f) and we're very different people so it's not a great combo. Plus my sister can be kind of spoiled and entitled.
But still we're family and I knew my family would expect me to be there for this occasion so we (husband was also invited) went. Some brief background...I have been pregnant four times but I have no living children. Three ended in miscarriage. One ended with my baby being stillborn. My stillborn child should be 1 now. But we don't get to see them grow up.
My husband and I have taken a break to heal so we can be healthy parents if we are lucky enough to have more children. When we got there it looked very much like they knew they were having a girl. There was so much pink. SO much. No blue. Which left us wondering why the gender reveal. When the time came for the reveal everyone found out my sister is expecting a boy. Her reaction was the reason I left.
She got so hysterical and furious and she cursed and screamed that she wanted a girl, she was supposed to be having a girl and who the f was punishing her this way. Her husband looked equally upset by the reveal. I heard him say it was all BS and what a waste. My sister's temper tantrum saddened me and honestly sickened me as someone who would do anything for a child to raise.
So we quietly left. But it was noticed. My sister asked what the hell we ran off for without comforting her and I told her I could not. That her reaction was not something I could understand. She told me to save her from the outrage and how dare I judge her when she has every right to be upset her dream is ended and she's now left figuring out what to do with a boy.
I told her given the losses I had faced I could not understand and I ended the call. She texted me saying I was a terrible sister. Then my parents called me to say I should have stayed and waited for any feelings until after. They also told me I should just be there for my sister now. That she's going through something I don't understand. AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Comfortable-Sea-2454 wrote:
NTA.
> My sister's temper tantrum saddened me and honestly sickened me as someone who would do anything for a child to raise. So we quietly left. But it was noticed.
I don't understand either your sister's reaction or your parents.
> Then my parents called me to say I should have stayed and waited for any feelings until after. They also told me I should just be there for my sister now.
That she's going through something I don't understand. What your parents said is totally beyond belief. You and your husband would give anything to have a living, healthy child and your sister through a tantrum because she is having a boy. Your sister and parents are massive A-H's!!!
OP responded:
I don't either. I never expected my parents to back her on this and I can't believe my sister's reaction was so extreme. To do so in a public way also.
kiwimuz wrote:
NTA. Your sister has some definite entitlement issues and throwing a tantrum like a toddler proves she has yet to grow up and be an adult. Other family members supporting her behaviour will only make your sister believe that her narcissistic view on things is right. I’d cut off the lot of them if this is the way they choose to act.
OP responded:
I will be taking some time from my family, that's a guarantee.
Agreeable-Book-718 wrote:
NTA. Anyway you could take the baby? If they really don't want a boy they may mistreat him.
OP responded:
Being totally honest, no. That would not be possible for us.
Rutabagacurious3279 wrote:
NTA. Totally understand your point of view. Sounds like she's the golden child. Maybe it's time to put some distance between you and them for a little while.
OP responded:
I wouldn't say golden child but right now they are definitely defending her more than I expected. I thought my parents would be disappointed in her reacting like she did. Not being sad but the anger.
Pesec1 wrote:
NTA. You wouldn't be an AH if you never even tried to have children and walked out simply because you didn't want to deal with that insane temper tantrum. Like, she knew there was about 50% chance that it would be a boy. If she wasn't prepared to handle that quite likely outcome, she is sure at hell not prepared to handle a child of either s-x.
dirtynerdy585 wrote:
NTA. Let me guess they probably have a recording of this attention seeking party too so one day their son can see how disappointed mommy was over him being a boy.
If you wouldn’t be happy with either gender don’t throw a reveal party so you can process your emotions appropriately away from others. Your feelings are 1000% valid and it’s sad your sister can’t appreciate the gift of so far having a healthy pregnancy/ baby.
daffodilsx wrote:
I’ve never been pregnant, not planning of having children like ever and I would’ve walked away all the same. NTA, and I’m really sorry for your losses. Children aren’t toys to play with, they’re human beings. What your sister is going through is called ‘not being mature enough to be a parent’, unfortunately it’s not easy to fix considering she’s almost 40 and not 12.